GRAMMARNOIR 6: GRAMMAR NEVER TAKES A HOLIDAY

This year’s Grammarnoir serial is running in four installments, from Tuesday, February 11, to the thrilling conclusion on March 4, National Grammar Day.

 

To recap: Part 1:  Trouble wears cheaters

 

Part 2: Perfidious Albion

The chair creaked as I leaned back. I steepled my fingers and said, “Well, slick, maybe you could tell me more. For instance, you have a name?”

“Turner,” he said. “Paige Turner.”

I looked at him. He blushed again.

“Mother wanted a girl.”

“And what would Mother have thought about your mixing with the wrong crowd?”

He drew breath to speak.

“No, slappy, don’t answer; just tell me what your problem is.”

“Well, it started easy enough,” he said. “Crosswords, Scrabble—you know, gateway stuff. Then it led to Fictionary …” He trailed off.

“Yeah, so you got to hard core pretty quick. What then?”

“When they thought they could trust me, they let me in on the Plan.”

“They, plan, whatever. C’mon, what’s it all about? Spill it.”

“They’d all been recruited, too, by the Queen’s English Society.”

“Nobody pays attention to the QES these days. They’re all fogies and dodderers. They’re past it.”

“Not this group. They’re young. They all went to progressive schools, so this is the only way they know how to rebel.”