"Jackass: The Movie" features at least one of its multiple title characters doing the following:
Snorting wasabi and barfing; subjecting himself to paper cuts between his fingers and toes (prompting a cameraman to barf);
Launching a firecracker from his rear end; launching a firecracker attached to his sex organ;
Launching a firecracker that ties together the two aforementioned firecracker stunts;
Doing No. 2 in a hardware store toilet (yes, we see the results);
Doing No. 2 in his own underwear (yes, we see the results, and so does a pal who barfs);
And inserting a toy car into an area that makes sitting down uncomfortable.
But there's one stunt that I bet none of these moronic daredevils would tackle: trying to say something intelligent about "Jackass: The Movie."
How do you critique a guy making his own "yellow snowcone," eating it and then retching? Do you say, "Well-executed, my boy"? Do you point out that John Waters and Divine were pulling off such gag-inducing gags 30 years ago in "Pink Flamingos"? Or do you just go, "Yechhh"?
Like "Beavis and Butt-head," "Jackass" is a stupidity-celebrating MTV series jumping to the big screen, though "B&B" actually had a fair amount of intelligence behind it (not a huge amount, mind you). "Jackass" is willful idiocy for idiocy's sake.
So for the movie, just a never-ending (or at least it seems that way) string of videotaped gags that would violate cable-TV standards, we get lead "Jackass" Johnny Knoxville having himself shot in the stomach with a riot-control gun. The shot leaves a nasty red mark, which we see in close-up. Two days later, it's even nastier.
Knoxville also lets himself get bitten on the nipple by a baby alligator and knocked out by a tubby boxer in a boxing match staged guerrilla-style in a department store; we're treated to a close-up of him getting stitches in his scalp.
The gang also causes random mayhem on golf courses with runaway carts and air horns, on American and Japanese city streets while disguised as elderly men and pandas, and in the home of one of jackass' parents; the fat dad is spied sitting on the toilet when his son runs in and rips his shirt from his chest.
Why? No reason.
If you're so inclined to see such a movie, you're guaranteed to laugh a few times and to feel nauseated a few times. That ratio will vary from viewer to viewer.
Maybe the best way to look at "Jackass: The Movie" is as a piece of conceptual art. How far and low will these guys go? What's the pinnacle of pointlessness?
I don't like conceptual art.
1 star (out of 4)
"Jackass: the Movie"
Directed by Jeff Tremaine. A Paramount Pictures release; opens Friday, Oct. 25. Running time: 1:20. MPAA rating: R (adult situations,language and nudity ).
Mark Caro is the Chicago Tribune movie reporter.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun