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Fast-Paised review: 'Snakes on a Plane'

FBI agent Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson) fights to save a plane full of passengers when an assassin releases snakes on a plane. As if you didn't know.

Big question: Can this long-awaited B-movie possibly be as hiss-tyerical as its massive, Internet-fueled buzz suggests?

Skip it: Yes, the idea of snakes running wild on a plane is hilariously ridiculous, but "Snakes on a Plane" has fewer badass lines from Jackson than you'd expect and no action that really registers as exciting or scary. If all you're looking for is unimportant characters repeatedly attacked by slithery serpents and nothing more, well, you got it.

Catch it: If you enjoy a movie that purposely makes no sense and just want to see some motherf***in' snakes biting people in places that are very sensitive to snake bites.

Bottom line: "Snakes on a Plane" is destined to be watched for minutes at a time on cable or at 4 a.m. after hitting the bars, and in those settings, the movie won't disappoint. Otherwise, it's less like a slick, vicious snake and more like its flaky, disposable skin.

Bonus: Are you excited that "Snakes on a Plane" allows you to simultaneously confront your fears of flying and snakes? Be on the lookout next year for Jackson's instructional video, "Public Speaking in front of Spiders."

Matt Pais is the metromix movies producer.


'Snakes on a Plane'

Directed by David R. Ellis; screenplay by John Heffernan and Sebastian Gutierrez; cinematography by Adam Greenberg; edited by Howard Smith; production design by Jaymes Hinkle; music by Trevor Rabin; produced by Gary L. Levinsohn, Don Granger and Craig Berenson. A New Line Cinema release; now in theaters. Running time: 1:46. MPAA rating: R (for language, a scene of sexuality and drug use, and intense sequences of terror).

Neville Flynn - Samuel L. Jackson

Claire Miller - Julianna Margulies

Sean Jones - Nathan Phillips

Three G's - Flex Alexander

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