Bitter high school bimbos (Ashanti, Arielle Kebbel, Sophia Bush) use the new girl (Brittany Snow, wayyyy too cute to play a girl who feels "invisible") to get revenge on the stud (Jesse Metcalfe) who used them.
Big question: Will teenage girls flock to a movie in which every woman is an irrational, obsessive nut job?
Skip it: These ladies say "John Tucker" so much you wonder if they think that's his first name. When they're not plotting ways to get back at a sleazy guy who never really committed to them in the first place, they're saying things like, "I know you think I'm just a superficial cheerleader, but I do have feelings."
Catch it: If you want to observe a pack of dudes who high-five so much it's as if their lives are one never-ending Super Bowl party.
Bottom line: Nobody actually dies in "John Tucker Must Die," but this infinitely stupid comedy could still make its way onto the local news: "A group of unstable teenage ditzes crashed boobs-first into a clan of horny jock bozos. There were no survivors."
Bonus: Based on the usage it gets from multiple characters, it appears the expression "Holy jamma lamma!" has already swept its way through society. Those of us who have never heard it must be out of the loop!
Matt Pais is the metromix movies producer.
'John Tucker Must Die'
Directed by Betty Thomas; screenplay by Jeff Lowell; photographed by Anthony B. Richmond; edited by Matthew Friedman; music by Richard Gibbs; production design by Marcia Hinds; produced by Bob Cooper and Michael Birnbaum. A Twentieth Century Fox release; opens Friday. Running time: 1:27. MPAA rating: PG-13 (for sexual content and language).
Kate - Brittany Snow
John Tucker - Jesse Metcalfe
Beth - Sophia Bush
Heather - Ashanti
Carrie - Arielle Kebbel
Lori - Jenny McCarthy