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The Baltimore Sun

Britney Spears 8

Why, Britney, why? And then there was 2007. Although it is difficult to capture the utter bizarreness of Britney’s performance in words, our own Elizabeth Snead gave it a whirl: Oh. My. God. Maybe I had high expectations. But Britney Spears was so beyond bad opening the VMA Awards. She didn't dance. She could barely walk. She lip-synced. She had to be helped just to walk down two steps. From the neck down, she was a disaster. I've seen pregnant, out-of-work pole dancers in better shape. Her gut was the only thing shaking when she tried to chest-shimmy. It's officially time to hang it up, Britney. Invest your money well and retire. "Gimme More"? Honey, you need less, not more.Kevin Winter / AFP / Getty Images