Get unlimited digital access to $0.99 for 4 weeks.

It counts its modem speed in kilobytes per second

And it uses a telephone landline to connect to the Internet and makes a sound like a cat falling into a blender. Yes, it's very impressive that you've upgraded to 28.8 kbps -- that's 28,800 bytes of data every second. You can download one of those mp3 music files in only 15 minutes! And if...

Joe Pugliese / Los Angeles Times