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2011: The year's dumbest criminals

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Ax-wielding sister chases brother up tree

We all know that every family has its share of dysfunction, but this one could take the cake. At the least, it’s certainly not your typical Fourth of July family-fun event. A 17-year-old Pierce County girl was reported to be wielding an ax and using it to chop down a tree that her brother had climbed — her mother said the kids played that way all the time.

Man swipes armload of sex toys from Babeland

You could say that this guy must have been really hard up — rather than purchase his vibrators, he decided to grab an armload and bolt out the door. The incident took place at Seattle pleasure emporium, Babeland, during (naturally) Porn Night. Refusing to join the store's ongoing porn discussion, the man instead opted to poach a bevy of toys, including the sophisticated, high-end Minna Ola, a toy so far ahead of all others that store employees were pretty convinced the man wouldn't even know how to use the thing. Making matters worse, it's a rechargeable item — meaning the amount of play time he'll get out of it will be limited.

Man covers self in poop to elude police

Andy Dufresne, the memorable character from "The Shawshank Redemption," has nothing on Gordon Flavia, 56, of Longview. You may remember Dufresne escaped prison by crawling through 500 yards of sewage to reach the other side of the wall. Flavia on the other hand, drunkenly crashed his car and to avoid police, hid in a nearby Port-o-Potty where he covered himself with the unit's fluid to hide his scent from dogs. The police quickly found him — by the way, they didn't have any dogs with them.

Man arrested after bragging on Facebook about outrunning police

A 19-year-old man who had eluded police was caught after deputies tracked him down from postings he made in which he bragged about giving the police the slip. Yakima County Sheriff's Deputy Chad Gray had a few words of advice regarding the use of online networks: “Please be aware that there is little privacy in social networking. Intelligent use of media is suggested.”

Man posts nude photo, email address of woman online because she refuses to pay his game account

The headline just about says it all. A South Carolina woman contacted police in Bremerton to ask for their help in getting a man to remove her nude photo and email address from the Internet. The man posted them after she refused to continue paying his gaming account (they had some kind of online relationship). The woman said she got emails asking for sex from people all over the country and that the man threatened to send the photo to people the woman knows.

Unusual lure: Deputies net naked angler

You expect to see some skin on the beach, but what Spokane County Sheriff’s deputies saw was not exactly the norm. Deputies arrested a 54-year-old Spokane Valley man after he was spotted fishing naked on the bank of West Medical Lake. When officers checked his ID, they learned he had an outstanding arrest warrant for stalking. A deputy arrested him on the warrant and also cited him for indecent exposure.

Stupid is as stupid does

A burglar broke into a Magnolia home, thinking it was unoccupied. Instead he got a barking dog and a frightened family. In the commotion, he turned and ran, but not before dropping his glasses on the bathroom floor. Minutes after the break-in, he returned to the scene, knocked on the front door and demanded his glasses back. Instead, he found a pair of handcuffs, as the police had been called in the meantime.

Panty perp, stalker gets 15 years

Royce Lynn Baxter's ultimate undoing was underwear. Not his own though, and therein lies the problem. He had already robbed his victim once and received a no-contact order when she began noticing undergarments missing from her home. It turned out he was a stalker and was soon arrested with a handgun, four pit bulls and a bag of women's underwear in his vehicle.

Judge lets murder suspect take a road trip

OK, this one is on the judge. A judge allowed murder defendant Peggy Sue Thomas to take a five-state, two-week road trip. Thomas, a former Miss Washington, told the court that she needed to hit the road so that she could attend her half-sister's memorial service in Idaho, go to the dentist, prep her house for the market and pick up some winter clothes.

Port Angeles man flees police in SUV, hides 50 feet up a tree

After fleeing the cops at more than 80 mph with an unwitting passenger in tow, James W. Tuff abandoned his SUV (and passenger) on an old logging road in Jefferson County. More than two hours later, the cops finally found him — 50 to 60 feet up a cedar tree. Then, as if he had all of the leverage in that particular situation, it took the police some convincing to get Tuff to come down.

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