Mark Twain wrote: "Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it." Or put another way, death is easy; it's marriage that's hard.
Certainly, marriage might seem easy in the beginning, but as couples' comfort level settles in and the challenges of life, career and family mount, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep the intimacy and passion in the relationship.
Fact is, there are approximately 2,162,000 marriages in 2008 at a rate of 7.1 per 1,000 of the total population, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The divorce rate was 3.5 per 1,000 of the population. It doesn't paint a rosy picture of rite of matrimony.
So, this year make a vow to keep your marriage alive and well, and put the spark back into your sex life.
Here are 10 ways to jumpstart your relationship:
1. Be realistic about your relationship. Sure, the sex and the intimacy were great when you were first married, but it was all new then, too. As Sallie Foley, author of Modern Love: A No-Nonsense Guide to a Life of Passion, (Sterling, $7.95) says: "the initial passion of any relationship changes after 18 months." Understand this and commit to keeping passion in your lives.
2. Communicate. Don't get mad, or if you do, don't stay that way. The old adage, "don't go to bed angry" has merit. Talk it out, and of course, the make-up dialogue is the best way to end of the night.
3. Always remember why you fell in love. There was something about her that made you want to spend the rest of your life together. Don't forget what those qualities were, and are, and let her know she's still the one.
4. Make romance a priority. Two words: Date night! Take your wife on a date at least once or twice a month. This is time spent alone, without kids or family or friends.
5. Try something new in bed. This doesn't have to be dressing as Tarzan and swinging from the ceiling, but if the loin cloth worksÂ…
6. Revisit your favorite places. Go somewhere the two of you used to go when you were dating. This might rekindle feelings of intimacy.
7. Take care of yourself. You looked after yourself when you first got together so why stop after you're married. Better yet, take up a sport together. Start running, join a gym, go to a yoga or spinning class.
8. Surprise her. It might be something traditional, such as flowers, or a love note, a poem, or cook her favorite meal. Make her a bubble bath, and then give her a long massage afterwards.
9. Never take her for granted. Show your wife you appreciate everything she does, no matter how small.
10. Words matter. Say "I love you," early and often.
Certainly, marriage might seem easy in the beginning, but as couples' comfort level settles in and the challenges of life, career and family mount, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep the intimacy and passion in the relationship.
So, this year make a vow to keep your marriage alive and well, and put the spark back into your sex life.
Here are 10 ways to jumpstart your relationship:
1. Be realistic about your relationship. Sure, the sex and the intimacy were great when you were first married, but it was all new then, too. As Sallie Foley, author of Modern Love: A No-Nonsense Guide to a Life of Passion, (Sterling, $7.95) says: "the initial passion of any relationship changes after 18 months." Understand this and commit to keeping passion in your lives.
2. Communicate. Don't get mad, or if you do, don't stay that way. The old adage, "don't go to bed angry" has merit. Talk it out, and of course, the make-up dialogue is the best way to end of the night.
3. Always remember why you fell in love. There was something about her that made you want to spend the rest of your life together. Don't forget what those qualities were, and are, and let her know she's still the one.
4. Make romance a priority. Two words: Date night! Take your wife on a date at least once or twice a month. This is time spent alone, without kids or family or friends.
5. Try something new in bed. This doesn't have to be dressing as Tarzan and swinging from the ceiling, but if the loin cloth worksÂ…
6. Revisit your favorite places. Go somewhere the two of you used to go when you were dating. This might rekindle feelings of intimacy.
7. Take care of yourself. You looked after yourself when you first got together so why stop after you're married. Better yet, take up a sport together. Start running, join a gym, go to a yoga or spinning class.
8. Surprise her. It might be something traditional, such as flowers, or a love note, a poem, or cook her favorite meal. Make her a bubble bath, and then give her a long massage afterwards.
9. Never take her for granted. Show your wife you appreciate everything she does, no matter how small.
10. Words matter. Say "I love you," early and often.
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