Q: Can you suggest any good reading for someone who has no desire for sex after having a full hysterectomy and ovary removal?
A: I assume this is for your wife or partner. I'm not sure whether you want a list of books that tell a woman how to restore her sex drive, or whether you want some titles of books that might arouse her, like "50 Shades of Grey."
I can't recommend a book for women who've undergone these surgeries, but there probably are some, and both types of books — self-help and sexually arousing literature — might be a good idea, because she may need to learn how to give herself permission to enjoy sex once again.
It's true that such surgeries reduce her level of hormones, but it's also true that women can enjoy sex after these surgeries. She will have to consciously put some effort into jump-starting her sex drive, but she can do it. And she might require the services of a sex therapist, just a few sessions, to help convince her.
Q: I am 24 and often have issues with dryness. I will be turned on, but I can't seem to get wet. I don't know what's wrong. I am a very sexual person, but this has been happening quite often.
A: While vaginal dryness is mostly associated with older women going through menopause, it can strike younger women too. There can be many causes, including certain medications, such as allergy medicines or antidepressants; douching; certain chemicals your vagina might be exposed to, such as those used in swimming pools and hot tubs; or perhaps you're not as aroused as you could be.
If you don't recognize any of these as a possible cause for your dryness, you should check with your gynecologist. And by the way, if you use an artificial lubricant and you use condoms for protection, make sure you don't use a lubricant that has petroleum in it, like Vaseline, because it can quickly damage the condom.
Q: If I do Kegel exercises, it helps me to become sufficiently erect to have intercourse, but it also leads me to ejaculate too quickly. If I don't do these exercises, I have problems with my erections. What should I do?
A: Kegel exercises were created for women, but men, too, can exercise their muscles down there, and it may help them have stronger erections. (To learn which muscle to tighten, pay attention when you urinate — the muscle that allows you to stop the flow of urine is the right one.) I'm not sure if you are tightening this muscle during intercourse and that is the cause of the problem, or whether you do the exercises at other times but still find that it affects your control. My best guess as to what you should do is experiment with when you do these exercises and to what extent. Perhaps with a little experimentation, you can figure out how to use these to help you without also causing this negative effect.
Q: My boyfriend and I were having sex recently. After he had an orgasm, he continued touching my vagina. I'm unsure if he had semen on his fingers. Can I get pregnant if there was?
A: The answer is yes. Any method that introduces sperm into your vagina has the possibility of causing a pregnancy. In this situation, there probably wouldn't be enough sperm to impregnate you, unless he was trying to make you pregnant. If all he had on his finger were a few stray sperm, the odds of causing a pregnancy this way are small, but they're not zero, as it is possible to get pregnant from only a few sperm. So rather than guess, make sure he knows this and wipes his finger before inserting it inside you.
Q: I'm unable to reach orgasm with my girlfriend. I think it's a lack of sensitivity in my penis. For many years, I did not have a girlfriend, and so I masturbated six times per week. Now that I have a girlfriend, I'm not able to reach orgasm during intercourse. I don't feel very much sensation in my penis.
A: You don't say how old you are, so it's hard for me to know whether age may be a factor here. The very fact that you worry about it definitely is a factor, as those worries will make it more difficult for you to become aroused sufficiently to climax. The first few times you had sex with this woman, you obviously were nervous, and now what is happening could just be a vicious cycle of nervousness. Keep trying, and if you can overcome this once or twice, you might find it easier after that. If you continue to have this problem, consult a sex therapist.
Distributed by King Features Syndicate