I just finished reading a book called "How Do Men Think?"
And, no, I didn't stumble upon it in the Science Fiction, Mystery or Occult sections.
I was drawn to the book because I thought it might help demystify the male mind.
While many authors have addressed the anatomical aspects of male thinking — what men think with — there is scant understanding of the actual thought process.
Wisely, "How Do Men Think?" does not go there either. It does not attempt to explain the inexplicable. Rather, it offers insights into the strange workings of the male mind by posing the types of questions men wrestle with every day.
Can the metal plate in Uncle Ed's head get rusty?
(Trust me, there is not a guy out there with an Uncle Ed who has not pondered this. And there is not a guy out there who afterward has not said to his wife, "Honey if I ever need a metal plate in my head make sure you prime it first.")
What happens to breast implants on a dead person?
(You wonder what guys think about at a funeral, now you know. And for the record, if someone with an enhanced set were to be exhumed 15 or 20 years down the line, investigators would find a skeleton with a pair of silicone perkys still intact. )
Can you outrun lava?
(This is a harmless question unless it is asked while a group of guys are drinking beer late at night in, say, Hawaii.)
Can men prolong sex by thinking about baseball?
(Probably, but certainly a better way to prolong sex would be by watching baseball.)
When transporting a stiff, can a hearse driver use the car-pool lane?
(Tricky one. In most states if the deceased is in a coffin the answer is no. The law is not as clear cut if the deceased is being transported in a passenger seat, in which case you have to wonder what the rule would be on wearing a seat belt.)
What is the best pick-up line ever?
(While this might seem like a frivolous inquiry, it is nonetheless one that men take very seriously, and work very hard at perfecting. Personally, I was always a big fan of: "Hi, I have amnesia. Do I come here often?")Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun