This Mille Petals gown from BHLDN has that hippie glam look

This Mille Petals gown from BHLDN has that hippie glam look (bhldn.com)

Remember in Clueless when Dionne asked Cher if she were suffering from buyer’s remorse and, looking horrified, Cher said no? Well lucky you, Miss Horowitz, because I certainly am. 

Knowing nothing about wedding dress shopping, I was surprised when in February, a week after my engagement, my stepmom insisted we begin the search. We visited a total of two places, and I had my dress deposit down in less than a month. 

I love my dress. I can't really detail it here because my fiance wisely reads this blog (Hi, Rob!) but my dress is cool and a little sexy and passed the space exploration/high-kick test I performed in each gown because I intend to get down at my wedding. 

The only problem is that I recently found another dress I'm scared I like more. 

In the nanosecond between my engagement and the dress search, I had a vision: I wanted something “hippie glam." Even though the most I have in common with hippies is that I don't have a car and go through occasional bouts of infrequent showering, I wanted a flowy, bohemian gown. One that was also glamorous. Because those things make sense together.

After trying on 100 strapless, white, puffy dresses, I figured it was time to take down my dress dream board and go with something unique but bridal. I foolishly forsook my hippie glam idea. And then suddenly, impossibly, BHLDN posted my dream dress on their site. It's not white, puffy or even bride-y. It flows and sparkles and pairs great with red lipstick. It is also the same price as the deposit we shelled out on the first dress, and therefore cannot be mine.

Like the spouse of an inmate, I have visited this dress in its corner of the internet every day since discovering it. It sits there impassively, wondering when I'm going to give up and find happiness elsewhere. And still I return.

In the end, I know I'll be happy with the dress I already have. I'll still walk up the aisle a bride-to-be, and walk back down it a wife, and that will be true no matter what I'm wearing or how I look. I think that I might always have a weird nostalgia for the BHLDN dress and will probably visit it until Anthropologie designs a new dress to torture a new woman with. 

In the meantime, I'll try to convince myself that it would never have passed the dance test.