Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for almost two decades.
He will celebrate a landmark birthday this year.Over a recent holiday weekend, we were invited to a cookout at one of his sisters' houses.
Amy, my feelings were so hurt that his family excluded me from involvement in the party.
This is not the first time his family has not included me in family functions.
They seem to think that I can't keep a secret, but I never told anyone when one sister slept with the other sister's husband, and I haven't yet, but, boy, I sure want to now!
Should I continue to let them hurt my feelings or stay away from my husband's family?
My husband thinks what they did was disrespectful to me, but he would never confront his family.
-- Tired of Taking It
Dear Tired: I applaud your discretion over the family secret you've been sitting on. It's a shame you're toying about blabbing about it now out of spite.
(Not to mention the fact that you just did.)
I agree that your husband's family should have included you in the planning of this party -- or at least informed you in advance that it was happening.
Once you've simmered down, seek out the person responsible for the surprise party and say, "I really wish you'd given me a head's up on that beforehand. I would have liked to help."
I don't think you need to sever ties with your in-laws; you should start by asking them to treat you differently.
Dear Amy: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman who just had her first baby.
What should be a very joyous time in my life has been painfully dampened by my mother's behavior.
I am an only child and have always had a very close relationship with my mom.
Once my son was born, she and my dad became distant.
My baby is now 5 months old, and I work two days a week.
Wife excluded from party planning
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