What can you teach me that my phone doesn't already know?

"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"

Dialogue: I got a new phone, too. I could edit a feature length film with this phone.

Why are kids different today?

The Rolling Stones/"Mother's Little Helper"

Lyric: Things are different today I hear every mother say

Have you heard about the school children of Vitoria da Conquista in Brazil? School authorities are sewing microchips into school uniforms so each student can be tracked like a nuclear submarine.

"The Hunt for the Red October"

Dialogue: I present you, the ballistic missile submarine Red October.

Sly and the Family Stone/"Somebody's Watching You"

Lyric: Somebody's watching you …

We can only assume that some kids will remove the offending piece of clothing whenever they want to go off the grid. Then, we will have no choice but to inject a sub-dermal tracking device inside the human body.


Dialogue: Kendall insists that you be injected with a sub-dermal tracking device. I'll have a receiver that will allow me to follow your movements on-site. Yeah, you won't even really know that it's there ...

The Police/"Every Breath You Take" intro and instrumental bed

In Brazil they call these microchip-enhanced outfits, intelligent uniforms. We never had intelligent uniforms although I knew some kids who were no smarter than their Thom McAn shoes.

On my block we didn't need a tracking device, we had Henrietta. She was a large middle-aged woman that reported on everyone's activities. She was known among my friends as the FHBS. Forest Hills Broadcast System:

"Mario was throwing some bottles by the railroad tracks."

"The Brehmers were cleaned out last weekend, cleaned out."

Much like contemporary cable news channels, Henrietta's pronouncements often contained very little information that was actually true. But in tracking the movements of kids up and down the street, Henrietta was the best we had.