"I spend a lot of my time cleaning up messes, so I need something that's absorbent and affordable. So what do I reach for? A suit from Jos. A. Bank," "SNL" player Vanessa Bayer says, playing a suburban supermom straight out of a Bounty commercial. "With their innovative buy-one-get-three-free pricing, a suit from Jos. A. Bank is effectively cheaper than paper towels."
Bayer goes to list all the potential uses for the suits, including kindling, cleaning up pet stains and even diapers. At one point, a smiling Bayer lights up a pair of suits in a fireplace, and they instantly erupt into flames.
Bank must have been a tempting target for the sketch show since the suit maker has been in the news for months, engaged in a protracted takeover battle with Houston-based rival Men's Wearhouse. Men's Wearhouse finally acquired Bank for $1.8 billion earlier this month.
The deal will create a company with 1,700 stores across country, and analysts say the combined company will be better able to compete with department stores. Although Bank is a respected local brand, the company has made a name for itself nationally with its no-frills TV commercials, sometimes offering three suits for the price of one.
But don't expect Bank to take the jokes about their steep discounts to heart. Its new owners are just as well known for deals and low prices, and Bank is expected to remain a separate brand despite the takeover.
Yet the brutal parody must have stung, with "SNL" even offering a new tagline for Bank: "Quantity Guaranteed."