Ask Amy

  • Husband rejects son and now wants him to leave

    Husband rejects son and now wants him to leave

    Dear Amy: My husband and I adopted my nephew when he was a baby. My husband was reluctant, and has never allowed me to forget how unhappy he has been about it. Our nephew/son recently turned 18. We have many issues with him, due to mental illness, low IQ and teenage angst. He refused to attend...

  • Women wonder whether to call out male friends for sexism

    Women wonder whether to call out male friends for sexism

    Dear Amy: I am lucky enough to have found a group of people who share the same deep love and support for an international sports team. We meet up to watch the games, but we also enjoy each other's company and see each other outside of match day. We've established a group text that covers a range...

  • Elderly mother's friend pressures her to donate money

    Elderly mother's friend pressures her to donate money

    Dear Amy: My husband and I manage my mother's finances. She's 88 years old. After my father died a decade ago, she began to donate to dozens of charities, beyond what she could afford. Anyone that solicited her typically got a donation. In some cases, there were recurring donations coming from...

  • Marriage at midlife can be one long slog

    Marriage at midlife can be one long slog

    Dear Amy: I'm a 42-year-old man who has been married to my wife for 14 years. We started out fairly well, but over the years, more and more arguments emerged. Now we have three young kids, and have devolved into the Odd Couple. She is a downright slob (really bad, even by her own admission) and...

  • Frisky neighbors need curtains

    Frisky neighbors need curtains

    Dear Amy: My husband and I live next to a married couple who are about our age (late 30s). Our condos are close (less than 12 feet apart), and some of our windows face each other. They removed all of the curtains and blinds about a year ago. We absolutely try to avoid looking into their house,...

  • Big Sister worries about her 'little's' media use

    Big Sister worries about her 'little's' media use

    Dear Amy: I am a 30-year-old woman with no children. I am mentoring a 12-year-old girl through the Big Sisters program. "Sandie" is a great, strong-willed kid, but has been through the wringer, with a history of sexual abuse, her dad in prison for most of her life, serious poverty and her mom giving...

  • Family wonders what to do with racist family photo

    Family wonders what to do with racist family photo

    Dear Amy: I am in a quandary. When my husband and his three brothers divided up what was left of my in-laws' possessions after my father-in-law died, we received the majority of photos. I finally have time to go through and sort them. In the process, I came upon a very large photo that was taken...

  • Partner's sister insists on family exclusion

    Partner's sister insists on family exclusion

    Dear Amy: I have a wonderful partner. We have been together for three years, own a beautiful home and have a baby on the way. My guy's sister, "Marcia," is a perpetual victim. She is always suffering from one perceived slight or another. The world is always out to get her. And she is never at fault....

  • Hidden debt makes wife want to run and hide

    Hidden debt makes wife want to run and hide

    Dear Amy: I'm in a long-term marriage. I have hidden debt (in my name only). The debt is around $45,000. I incurred this debt through light gambling, buying clothes, makeup, travel, hobbies, gifts to adult children and also moving it around to prevent my husband from finding out about it. I completely...

  • Family grabs credit for younger generation's achievements

    Family grabs credit for younger generation's achievements

    Dear Amy: Can you resolve a family debate? Whenever my niece or nephew (they are my brother's kids) do something great (get into a top college, win a scholarship, look beautiful in a picture, become the top football scorer) my dad and my sisters and I all say something to them like, "You got that...

  • Co-worker crossed the line with unwanted kiss

    Co-worker crossed the line with unwanted kiss

    Dear Amy: I am 31 years old. I have an older male co-worker who I feel violated me recently. He came to my home to deliver something, and proceeded to kiss me on the lips. I was pushing his arms back, but the hint was not taken. It did not go any further, and he left like nothing happened. I feel...

  • Inheritance issue unties purse strings

    Inheritance issue unties purse strings

    Dear Amy: I am asking you this question, rather than a lawyer, because I'm not really inquiring about the legality of my problem, but would appreciate your opinion. I've been married to my husband for almost 20 years -- it was a second marriage for me, and he raised my four young children as though...

  • Reader offers #MeToo advice to women

    Reader offers #MeToo advice to women

    Dear Amy: There is a side of the #MeToo movement that could be addressed more thoroughly: Setting boundaries. Girls/women need to rehearse at home and with friends how to say, "No!" If a guy slaps her on the derriere or kisses her on the lips and she doesn't like it, she needs to forcefully say,...

  • DNA match reveals unknown family relationship

    DNA match reveals unknown family relationship

    Dear Amy: I was tested by a DNA service that notifies participants of DNA relatives and their calculated degree of kinship. I was stunned to receive notice that I have an adult niece I am unaware of. One of my brothers is her father. No one in our large family is aware of this, and I have not broached...

  • It's a snowball fight, not 'The Untouchables'

    It's a snowball fight, not 'The Untouchables'

    Dear Amy: Last night my 6-year-old son was participating in a snowball fight with a group of friends after school. One of the other boys threw a snowball into my son's face, which cut the bridge of his nose. My son's reaction was to punch the other boy in the face, which gave that boy a bloody...

  • Ex may be at child's wedding and she's afraid

    Ex may be at child's wedding and she's afraid

    Dear Amy: My daughter is getting married in a month and I am AFRAID of seeing my ex-husband. We were married for 32 years. He was abusive on several levels: sexual, financial, verbal and physical. He is capable of violence, and is a gun owner. Prior to the finalization of the divorce, he loosened...

  • Wedding season provides familiar dilemmas

    Wedding season provides familiar dilemmas

    Dear Amy: My fiance and I are having a rather large wedding (it's the second time for both of us). We are in our 60s. My fiance is from a wonderful large family. All his nieces and nephews and their spouses will be invited. The problem is one niece. She is always rude to me. Her rudeness is obvious...

  • Was grandparents' choice to have girls' hair cut off racist?

    Was grandparents' choice to have girls' hair cut off racist?

    Dear Amy: My (white) parents have never approved of my wife, who was born in Mexico. They also seem not to care for our daughters -- their two grandchildren. A while back they asked to take these granddaughters for the weekend. The girls were 4 and 6 at the time. Our daughters have always had long,...

  • Wife wants to spend down retirement nest egg

    Wife wants to spend down retirement nest egg

    Dear Amy: My wife of almost 40 years and I are in our early 70s. We are retired and live comfortably on two pensions and two Social Security checks. From day one, I was the one responsible for major expenses (e.g., mortgages, insurances, investments, etc.) and she had shown no interest in our finances....

  • Pregnant worker stands her ground while seated

    Pregnant worker stands her ground while seated

    Dear Amy: I'm a woman who works in an informal office environment. Today I was in a crowded meeting with more co-workers than chairs. I got to the meeting a bit late. Not wanting to stand the entire time for this long meeting, I quickly, and happily, sat on the floor. As I am currently four months...

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