Ask Amy

  • Sister wonders about forcing confession

    Sister wonders about forcing confession

    Dear Amy: After more than 20 years of marriage, my husband and I divorced. During the marriage, my husband had a brief sexual affair with my sister. I did not find out until several years after the event. My husband confessed to the incident because he was feeling guilty. He confessed to other...

  • Mom wants adult son to step-up at home

    Mom wants adult son to step-up at home

    Dear Amy: My 30-year-old son returned to live at home from several states away. He has a college degree, is handsome, charming, and quick-witted. His former position with a well-known insurance company ended when the contract ran out. Initially I thought he would be living at home for two or three...

  • Father reels from stepfather's rage

    Father reels from stepfather's rage

    Dear Amy: I am a dad with two children, ages 11 and 8. Three months ago, we were at my mother and stepfather's house for a family cookout. My 8-year-old son was throwing "pops" on the ground (you know, those firecracker things that pop on cement). Well, apparently, my stepfather became angry and...

  • Parents' relationship goes to the puppy

    Parents' relationship goes to the puppy

    Dear Amy: What do you do if one parent in the family wants a dog (as do all of the children), while the other parent (the one who does 95 percent of the housework) does not? I am in a 19-year marriage. My husband and I have four children. Our oldest (twins) just left for college. My husband is...

  • Drunken one-night stand causes problems

    Drunken one-night stand causes problems

    Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We were perfectly happy until recently when I received a message from a "friend of a friend" telling me that he cheated on me six months ago with a friend of mine. I confronted him, and he admitted to it and said it happened one time, and...

  • Sister loses sleep over unethical relationship

    Sister loses sleep over unethical relationship

    Dear Amy: I recently learned that my younger sister is dating a married man. They've been dating for many months. Of course, he claims that he was never in love with his wife, etc. They have children. She portrays him as the victim, trapped in an unhappy marriage. They seem to be dating openly....

  • Sisters ponder forcing elderly mother to move

    Sisters ponder forcing elderly mother to move

    Dear Amy: My sister and I are having difficulties dealing with our aging mother. Our parents are divorced, and because my sister lives several states away, most of the responsibility falls to me. My mother lives about an hour from me. She is 79 and lives on her own. We have determined that it would...

  • Facebook message creates marital mess

    Facebook message creates marital mess

    Dear Amy: My husband and I have been together for more than 25 years. Two years ago my husband got a message on his phone while he was driving. He asked me to look at it. I got on his phone and it was a Facebook message from our son. But I also saw another message exchange between my husband and...

  • It's hard to get rid of guests in Hawaii

    It's hard to get rid of guests in Hawaii

    Dear Amy: I recently hosted my sibling and their spouse at my home for three days. It had been several years since we'd seen each other. Because I live in Hawaii, we get a lot of, "Hey, I'm coming out there on vacation" from family and friends, with the unspoken hope of staying with us. My sibling...

  • Family pleads for less this holiday season

    Family pleads for less this holiday season

    Dear Amy: My husband and I have three beautiful children, ages 10, 3, and 1. We are blessed with a large family on both sides. They are all incredibly generous, especially at Christmas. They love to give gifts, and we are grateful for their generosity. However, like many families with similarly...

  • Can former flames become fast friends?

    Can former flames become fast friends?

    Dear Amy: I had an intimate relationship with a wonderful man for more than three years. We met when I hired his company to do a project for me. We developed not only a great personal relationship, but a wonderful working relationship, as well. We have worked successfully together on multiple projects....

  • Mother's boyfriend grooms daughter for relationship

    Mother's boyfriend grooms daughter for relationship

    Dear Amy: My girlfriend, "Wendy," and I have been living together for seven years. She has a daughter, "Ariel," 18, who recently graduated from high school. Ariel and I always got along great, but I liked her more than I liked her mother, and I feel terrible about it. A few years into our relationship,...

  • Father's family values lead to son's alienation

    Father's family values lead to son's alienation

    Dear Amy: I am a 50-year-old father of two teen boys. Their mother and I divorced almost 10 years ago. My ex-wife and I are very different — our most marked difference is in our parenting styles. I grew up in a large family where I started doing chores by age 8, respected my parents and was taught...

  • Wife disappoints family with trans-continental birthday

    Wife disappoints family with trans-continental birthday

    Dear Amy: My son and daughter-in-law seem to have a lovely relationship. They are on the same page in regard to child-rearing, values, etc. However, I feel that my son shoulders more than his share of the relationship. I always thought this was a mutually accepted situation. Recently my daughter-in-law...

  • Fast food meal isn't so happy for co-workers

    Fast food meal isn't so happy for co-workers

    Dear Amy: I get along with a male co-worker fairly well, and we go out to lunch at least twice a week. I have never thought anything of it past a mutual work relationship. He's 12 years older than I am. I am married, and he has been with his significant other for almost nine years. There is a fast-food...

  • Interracial dating upsets parents

    Interracial dating upsets parents

    Dear Amy: I am in my early 20s, and I have recently started seeing someone from a different race. He and I went to high school together. He is honestly the best guy I've ever dated. He is honest, funny, sweet and caring. He treats me wonderfully. I have always been very private when it comes to...

  • Woman wonders if she is being stalked

    Woman wonders if she is being stalked

    Dear Amy: I'm 62, and have been single for the past 27 years, with occasional relationships. I'm quite independent, and if the relationship was no longer working (for whatever reason), either he or I ended it with not much fanfare involved. This spring, I met a man who lives only a few blocks away...

  • New stepmother feels attention deficit

    New stepmother feels attention deficit

    Dear Amy: I am 44 years old. My common-law husband is 40. I have a 22-year-old son who lives with us, and my husband has an 11-year-old daughter whose custody he shares 50/50 with her mother. Our relationship is excellent, and we're all adjusting to our new family situation, but I'm having some...

  • New hire struggles with workplace racism

    New hire struggles with workplace racism

    Dear Amy: I recently changed careers. I am a new hire at my place of employment. Most of my co-workers are old enough to be my parents or grandparents, and have been working there for more than 10 years. I have noticed a clash in personality with most of my co-workers. I am quite reserved and professional....

  • Mother-in-law refuses daycare idea

    Mother-in-law refuses daycare idea

    Dear Amy: My mother-in-law has no tact and no respect. That being said, she is well-intentioned and kind in her own way. She loves her kids and her grandkids. Her attitude is that she raised three boys and she knows best. She doesn't care that you're supposed to put babies to sleep on their backs...