I rock up to a lovely house of Desperate Housewife proportions and am greeted with food and drink and yoghurt-covered pretzels. Brillopads!

The game is very sociable, you get to move about and chat and everyone has a glass or two of wine and it’s a right old giggle. I can see me bringing this back to the U.K. for endless girly nights in.

Observations about the game and the lovely ladies I met:
•  Everyone was very glamorous and had fabulous teeth (I still have an obsession with Americans’ teeth).
•  All the homes of American families that I have been in are big, just like on TV, and totally spotless.
•  People were drinking! This does not seem to happen often at American “dos,” and it was super to be in grown-up glamorous company with some gals who liked to have a few glasses.
•  I perfected my Bunco scream -- this happens when you get a Bunco or a “baby” -- I got both, and my Bunco scream was most excellently executed toward the end of the evening!
•  I didn’t win anything, but I think I might just be a Bunco addict in the making. And I’m definitely on for lunch/pedicure/massages with some of my new American housewife chums!

Feb. 14, 2013: Valentine’s

Submit a Letter to the Editor for the Laurel Leader, Columbia Flier and Howard County Times

Harry has 16 people in his class at school, including him.

He has to, therefore, take in 15 Valentine’s cards made out to his friends in his class and signed by him. In return, he will receive 15 Valentine’s cards from them.

I am dumbfounded by this.

Whatever happened to a) the mystery of receiving a card from an anonymous admirer and b) getting your heart broken because you didn’t receive a card? (I am pretty sure that 5 years old is not too young to get your heart broken ­-- best to get used to it now.)

March 21, 2013: St. Patrick’s Day

What I love about America is the capacity to party about ANYTHING. Of course, there is the age-old joke about everyone in the States having a claim to Irish heritage. After all, we’ve all seen “Far and Away,” and that was obviously as entirely accurate as Tom’s and Nicole’s accents were.

Anyway, who cares about heritage when there are potato cakes to be eaten and Guinness to be drunk. We have a proper Irish friend over here -- like really Irish, from Ireland, wears green and crossed the sea and everything, so we partied with them. And got into the spirit -- marvellousness!

April 17, 2013: Kids and cars

Let me explain this one — in the U.K., if you saw a 16-year-old driving a car, you’d be yelling “STOP, THIEF!” (I can speak from actual experience since my car was stolen by a 12-year-old.)

The fact is that I have to stop myself yelling this every time I drive in to my son’s school because the kids [who can] are driving massive trucks and sports cars. I confess that I swerve every morning, as I am totally mesmerized by these little people driving big people’s cars.

It’s only a year’s difference from the U.K. to get the driving license, but I think you would rarely see a 17-year-old in the U.K. a) driving to school, b) driving a Mustang or an SUV, or c) driving legitimately!

The Buick

So my husband has had to get a new car, since his clapped out banger Ford Taurus that had been a hand-me-down had dribbled its last bit of engine oil on our driveway. (I refused to get in the beast whilst it was on its last legs.)

Therefore, we are now the proud owners of a Buick. His excitement at getting an American car was a joy to see! “A cool car,” he declared, smoothing the bonnet/hood of his newly named “Funcle Buck.”

However, his joy was slowly dissipated by the fact that, upon a Google search of “Buick,” we find that it is referred to as the American seniors’ car -- a reliable, comfortable car for the older generation in the USA. How I laughed! It is very comfy though.