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'Real Housewives of Potomac' recap: The Champagne room is open

For The Baltimore Sun

We’re back for another “Real Housewives of Potomac” episode in Bermuda, and it’s full of high school drama.

If you remember from last week’s episode, Karen arranged for Monique and Gizelle to go on a private sailboat trip in an effort to make the two of them get along. This makes the other ladies angry because that was Charrisse’s day to host the trip’s events. So that evening, Charrisse arranges for the ladies to go on a dinner cruise.

The other women wish Karen had told them that she was going to help Monique and Gizelle reconcile. Of course, like any other “Housewives’” apology, Karen says she’s sorry if she executed things poorly but doesn’t regret doing it. Charrisse and Karen get into it; Charrisse tells Karen that this boat is more than her net worth and that she needs to go therapy. That’s Charrisse’s new thing — telling everyone they need therapy as if it’s an insult. But in happier news, Monique and Gizelle are good.

There is a man on the boat who is talking to Charrisse, or as she introduced herself, Sha Sha. The man says he’s interested in Robyn, so she walks over and sits down. This man is SO CREEPY! First of all, Charrisse tries to coach Robyn on what to say to right in front of him. Then Robyn notices that he shaves his legs and he says she can touch them, but with only one finger. Very, very creepy. Robyn later says to her therapist that she’s not ready to date and would rather work on her situation at home with Juan.

Charrisse tells Robyn, Gizelle and Ashley that Karen bought her Potomac house because it was in foreclosure. It reminds me of old-school “Real Housewives of New Jersey,” when Danielle Staub yelled at Teresa Giudice that her house was in foreclosure.

We also learn that Karen’s husband, Ray, is dealing with the movers while Karen is in Bermuda. Sucks to be Ray.

It’s Charrisse’s birthday and the ladies go to a cricket game. They sit in a tent and a lot of men surround them and try to explain the game to them. Ashley tries to pass on men to Gizelle. In her testimonial, Gizelle says that she thought they were going to wear big hats, fan themselves and watch horses run around. Nope honey, that’s Preakness.

Later, Karen goes to Charrisse’s room and says that they need to put up a united front because these women look to them for leadership. I don’t think they look to them for leadership…

For the women’s last night in Bermuda, they have a pajama dinner in Charrisse’s suite. Really?! It’s the last night, you’re suppose to have a glamorous outing. This is not what Housewives do!

We return to the DMV for the much-anticipated unveiling of Charrisse’s Champagne room. She has a reveal party for the women with caterers and butlers. I find it weird that the only people invited are the Housewives. Charrisse has made such a big deal out of this room that you’d think she’d invite more than five people! Side note: I’ve noticed that Charrisse will say certain words in a British accent, similar to Dorit from “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” but not as bad. I do have to give it to Charrisse — the room is beautiful.

Before Karen arrives, Gizelle tells the women that Karen came back from Bermuda and went straight to the new house that isn’t in Potomac. “I think Karen is trying to keep up with Samuels and the Jordans and then she realized her name is Huger,” she said. Such a great line.

Karen says, “I moved to Great Falls remember?!” No Karen, the ladies don’t remember because you always dodged the question about where you were moving to. It turns out Karen is renting the house in Great Falls while she’s looking for a house she likes in Potomac. Ashley says that Karen will no longer be the “Grand Dame of Potomac” and of course that makes Karen defensive. She says, “I’m not into titles, that’s not how I love. People bestowed that upon me and until I pass it on; it’s no one else’s to have.” So you do care about titles? Massive eye roll.

The season finale is approaching and I hope we find the answers to some unresolved questions. Will the restaurant ruin Ashley’s marriage? Will Robyn stay with Juan? Will Karen return to Potomac? Will Gizelle end things with Kevin? Will Monique finally realize that spending $10,000 on her daughter’s first birthday is ridiculous? And most importantly, will Charrisse ever get sick of champagne? Tune in next week.

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