'The Real Housewives of Miami' recap: Reunion Part 1

For The Baltimore Sun

So much for happy endings!

Happy endings are a far cry from tonight’s reunion episode. Everything seemed to be hunky dory at the end of Joanna’s wedding, but during the reunion tonight, claws were out!

I’ll only cover new material here, since I’ve already talked about all the episodes from this season and there were a lot of recaps for the ladies to reminisce their betrayals.

Another element that I loved so much was the behind-the-scenes aspect. Following the women back to their respective dressing rooms to freshen up after a good cry gave the viewer a unique, more personalized experience. I hope all the reunions reprise this new technique

The first feud, and recurring subject, started when Andy asked a simple question about the happiness of people in Miami and how they keep it going. To this, Lisa says “Nobody works.”

Immediately, Alexia and Joanna attack, saying that her answer is ridiculous and that not everyone can be her. Joanna seems to want to take it to a new level, as she continues to make jabs at Lisa and the fact that she’s unemployed. And the fight just gets bigger and bigger.

Andy reads something where Joanna says Lisa needs to stop partying if she’s serious about having a kid. Ouch!

Blow after blow after blow, and each gets lower.

At one point, Joanna says something about Lisa at her wedding, adding that, “because she’s a friend,” she doesn’t want to throw her under the bus. She then repeats that sentiment about 10 times. OK, Joanna, we get it. You’re a good friend...or something.

The friendship takes a dire turn when Joanna’s makeup artist is jeering Lisa backstage -- calling her ugly, broke and untalented -- while Joanna laughs in her room. My thoughts on Joanna have completely changed this year, I’ve never been more over somebody

On to Joanna and Adriana. Joanna seemed to have made peace when she invited Adriana to her wedding in San Diego, but that seems to have been forgotten.

When asked what they thought about each others’ weddings, Joanna said she thought it was incredibly rude to keep guests waiting so long, while Adriana thought Joanna’s wedding dress looked like it was a flamenco dress. Pretty tame there.

But things are taken to a whole new level when Adriana says that she met "Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills" star Brandi Glanville in New York at an event and was told that Joanna had an affair with the husband of RHOBH’s Yolanda Foster, Mohammad, and that that was the reason they got a divorce.

Immediately after that, she makes the accusation that Romain must be gay. Joanna calls Romain on live TV to let him know Adriana’s words. When he responds, “she’s saying that because she wants to be with me,” she countersw with “I don't want a man with a limp penis."

Seriously. These women are kind of horrible. Entertaining. But absolutely horrible

Adriana and Lea’s tumultuous past then has some light shone on it. Lea explains that she helped keep Adrianna’s son, Alex, in his private school by helping to alleviate the school's $350,000 debt, so scholarship students (like Alex) could continue to attend at a discounted rate.

And she brought evidence! The casts of these “Real Housewives” franchises have to pick out their biggest purses for reunion day, so they can hold all of their evidence

This brings us to the end of Act 1 of the Miami reunion! Part 2 will air Thursday night! Check back with me at the end of the week, to finish your "Real Housewives of Miami" fix!

Copyright © 2018, The Baltimore Sun, a Baltimore Sun Media Group publication | Place an Ad