'Mama Drama' recap, episode 1, this show is ridiculous

Mothers and daughters who are best friends, wear matching clothes and go partying together sound like they need a trip to the psychologists, not to Las Vegas.

But where is the fun in therapy shows? On VH1's new show, "Mama Drama," these mother daughter duos are all about fun.

On Wednesday night's premiere episode, we meet five mother and daughter duos (one is a trio) who are sent to Vegas to party. Sharon and Ashley, the self-proclaimed showstoppers, are fighters. Gina and Debbie call themselves "dirty Jersey." Their signature style: big hair and whipped cream vodka.

Gina and Marcella, the duo from Parkville, MD, have always dressed identically. They claim only other mother and daughters look ridiculous when they dress alike. Their bond is so strong that Marcella had to be taken out of school to stay close to Gina. 

In the duo of Vanessa and Jay, Vanessa the daughter is hotter but more responsible. So far it seems Jay is responsible for bringing the diapers to the club, and Vanessa for getting them around the airport.

Then comes the trio: Whitney, Britney and Loren. They're looking to dance on tables and party hard. Each family talks about the intense bond between mother and daughter because of earlier hardships.

The mothers and daughters all arrive and shriek at absurdly high pitches over their female pimp pad. The champagne fountain brings tears to Sharon's eyes while Debbie cries over "giant ebony bouncing breasts." Through a haze of slut-wear, bleached hair and whipped cream vodka (there it is again), it is hard to tell the mothers apart from the daughters.

The Maryland duo of Gina and Marcella call themselves healthy and normal after champagne, though Sharon is confused about their perfectly matching outfits. Meanwhile, Vanessa stands out as the most reasonable. The twins seem the most wild after jumping into the pool with their clothes on.

As a welcome gift to the ladies, the big-haired, big-boobed Debbie and Gina brought a suitcase of whipped cream vodka to share with the ladies. The night gets started.

Whitney, a twin, is the first to fight with her mother. She claims to need a cigarette to calm her down after meeting such a rowdy group. Pitbull/Mother Loren tells Whitney she needs to go to rehab for cigarettes, and that parents should beat their children before society does.

After the first fight, the daughters bond over how scary Loren is while the mothers seem to be confused about the actual parenting Loren is exhibiting. But Loren's softer side comes through when her daughters find her suitcase of vibrators.

The whole team decides it's best to celebrate their arrival by strutting down to the casino. Ashley immediately calls out Marcella in the casino for sipping, not shooting, shots. Gina, Marcella's mother, claims her daughter is "like a china doll" and therefore too fragile to drink heavily.

So far, the twins and their mom have established themselves as the biggest drinkers and fighters. Gina and Marcella, the Maryland crew, grow very concerned with their sleep while the other girls judge them for attempting to be sensible.

It seems that the Maryland girls — by minding their own business and trying to take the night slow — have ignited a fire within Loren and caused her to go off on a rampage.

On the first morning, no amends are made between Marcella and Loren. Marcella is asking for people (aka Loren) to be quiet at 5 in the morning while Loren claims that such an outrageous request is disrespectful and that the girl needs a smack.

Already a division has occurred in the house: Whitney, Britney, and Ashley versus the blondes and Marcella ("a wanna-be blonde"). How or why this division has occurred remains mysterious.

Debbie, mother from "dirty Jersey," tries to analyze the division but gets too distracted with her boobs.

Following the deeply emotional shopping/bonding trip of the girls in the non-blonde group over how breasts don't always fit into clothes when the rest of your body does, all the ladies reunite to get slutted up for a pool party.

A fight starts while the girls crowd up to see Three 6 Mafia perform at the pool party. There's some smack-talking outside, a girl grabbed Ashley's weave and soon Loren and one of her twin daughters get involved, too.

The episode ends with the girls chanting, "let go of her weave!" What could be more appropriate on a mother-daughter trip to Vegas?

On this episode we've learned that nipple piercings and Patron shots are classy while gaining valuable tidbits of wisdom such as to make sure to tell your mother which bathing suit you're wearing to the pool party in case she wears the one you want to wear (unless you own two and in that case need to match your mother).

Let's hope next week's episode will be an in-depth exploration of the nature of the relationship between such close mothers and daughters. If it doesn't, then I demand to see an equally complex theme of a mother getting drunk off the champagne fountain.

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