'Jersey Shore' recap: FPC and the episode's 15 most ridiculous quotes

Around this time every season, "Jersey Shore" begins to annoy more than entertain, so rather than give the typical recap, let's highlight why we all really watch — the ridiculous quotes. Without further ado, here are the most ridiculous things heard on tonight's episode:

"I love you. No matter what." — Ronnie to Sammi

"I'm hurt." ... "Do you want to come to the gym with us?" — Tearful exchange between Mike and Ronnie

"Can you cover up your body when you walk past the church?" — Florence priest to Snooki

"God made my t--s." ... "He didn't make mine." — Snooki and Jenni

"You make me happy and I want to suck your butt." — Snooki to her boyfriend. (He didn't like it.)

"'I want you to put nutella on my toes and suck 'em right now, Jionni.'" ... "Well, not my toes." — Ronnie telling Snooki what to say to her uptight boyfriend, and Snooki then correcting him.

"JOEY D TAKING OVER ITALY. PAULY D IS A CLOWN!" — The debut of Pauly D's Italian toolbag alter-ego. Surreal.

"All we need is FPC. Fistpump, push-up, chapstick." — Vinny

"Can we talk? Blah, blah blah, fight, fight, I don't care anymore, blah blah, etc." — Ronnie and Sam have a classic Ronnie and Sam conversation.

"I think right now me and Ron are together. Granted it's just tonight. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow?" — A very earnest Sammi Sweetheart

"FALL BACK!" — Jenni to a girl getting to close at the club.

"I was like, don't f--- with my bitch." — Snooki defending Deena.

"Two meatballs attack." — Deena describing the bar fight.

"Elis is definitely not getting the golden ticket." — Deena turning down the "cute Italian waiter" after seeing a hickey (or bite mark) from his sister(?!).

"You don't have to do a f---ing intervention. I'm not addicted to heroin. I'm just addicted to my boyfriend's penis. That's all." — Snooki

Final note: Did anyone notice MTV blurred out the Abercrombie logo on Mike's sweatpants? Back to the drawing board, A&F.

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