Styx

Bassist Ricky Phillips, guitarist/vocalists James Young and Tommy Shaw of Styx performs at the House of Blues on Jan. 13, 2012 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Skip Bolen/Getty Images)

Sales of disposable lighters and headbands must have spiked Wednesday when it was announced that Styx, REO Speedwagon and Ted Nugent would be joining forces for the Midwest Rock'N'Roll Express tour.

The black light poster/Spandex-era acts announced that the 30-date outing, in which Styx will headline, will kick off May 1 in Hidalgo, Texas, and cross the country before winding up in Gilford, N.Y., on July 7, with an L.A. date scheduled for May 6 at the Greek Theatre.

So, it's time to ask yourself, how much power balladry can you stand?

Though stone-washed denim jackets, scissor kicks and wailing guitar heroes may seem to have gone the way of, well, stone-washed denim jackets, scissor kicks and wailing guitar heroes, their influence lives on in the compilation CDs available in pharmacy gift shops everywhere.

With years on the festival and casino circuit under their belts, this line-up of former arena rock staples will reprise that role with a vengeance across the heartland. The title of the tour is a proud homage for Illinois-bred bands Styx and REO Speedwagon (from Chicago and Champaign, respectively) and Nugent, who has roots in Detroit.

Press statements released Wednesday about the tour show that these  Midwestern rockers make no apologies for their corn-fed corniness:

"I am a Midwest boy, born and raised with Midwest values,” said REO Speedwagon singer-guitarist Kevin Cronin.  "In the Midwest we work hard, play hard, and rock hard.  I am proud to join my brothers in STYX and Ted Nugent to celebrate Midwest rock 'n roll and represent the greatest rock fans in the world.  I am ready to climb aboard the ‘Midwest Rock 'n Roll Express!’  Rock On baby!"

Styx singer Tommy Shaw is calling the tour a "Twang Fest of screaming guitars and big, sing-along choruses that continue to be the soundtrack for the misbehavior of our collective fan base."

Soundtrack for misbehavior? Really? This?

"Forget all those TV shows with glee clubs singing rock songs," exclaims Styx guitarist-singer James "JY" Young.  "It's time for mega-platinum Illinois bands STYX and REO Speedwagon in a battle to the end of the Mayan Calendar with the Motor City Madman!"

So, will the last day on Earth sound more like "Lady" or "Wango Tango"?  Or perhaps like the long (and thankfully) forgotten supergroup Damn Yankees that Nugent formed with Shaw in 1989.

And the random dis on "Glee"is a little snickerworthy when you consider that both of these bands are easy targets for the Fox show, especially thanks to Corry Monteith's rendition of REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling."

Check out the dates for the tour below:

DATE                     CITY                                       VENUE                                                               

May 1                    Hidalgo, Texas                        State Farm Arena

May 3                    Albuquerque                           Hard Rock Casino Albuquerque Presents The Pavilion       

* May 4                  Tucson                                   Anselmo Valencia Amphitheatre  (no Ted Nugent)

May 5                    Las Vegas                               Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino