"IF IT was anything else, I might plead my foot, but I won't miss this. It's too important -- it's about love!"
That's what Madonna told members of her inner circle who were suggesting the star's recent injury to her foot was too painful and "too hobbling" for her to appear at the Grammys last Sunday night.
Silly inner circle! Don't they know by now that as soon as you tell Madonna not to do, say, or wear something, she is going to do exactly the opposite? (Alas, somebody told her not to wear that silly gold grill on her teeth, so she did. At least on the red carpet.)
In any case, though Madonna looked like she was paying homage to the Amish on the way into the Grammys, she pulled it out of the fire when she went onstage. Changed into a more flattering white suit, and steadying herself on a white cane, she joined multiple Grammy-winner Macklemore, along with Ryan Lewis, Mary Lambert and Queen Latifah in a splendid rendition of "Same Love." (Madonna melded her classic "Open Your Heart" with the new song. And Latifah presided over 33 weddings, both straight and gay.) Madonna was in good voice and the entire number was beautifully conceived. If you weren't impressed or moved, your hearts of stone must weigh you down!
By now, you probably know all this. What you don't know is how much physical discomfort Madonna was in. And perhaps many of you are not aware of the beating she took on social media -- a lot of it shockingly racist and directed at her son, David! (David looked adorable with his mom on the red carpet in a duplicate of Madonna's black pantsuit.)
Many of these online morons don't seem to be aware that Madonna adopted David a number of years ago. She also has an adopted daughter, Mercy, and also the two children to which she has given birth. But the level of ugly vitriol on poor David is stunning.
Unfortunately, Madonna recently lit a fire under her critics by her misguided attempt to appear as if she were getting "down with the kids" using the N-word as a "term of endearment" toward her older son, Rocco, fathered by Guy Ritchie. She apologized. But her appearance at the Grammys with David compelled her haters to decry it as a "PR stunt" to prove she isn't a racist. Please. Madonna is no racist. Her crime, if we can call it that, is that she doesn't censor herself and is often caught up in maintaining an image that needs some tweaking to maturity. And, like most adults, she should get off Twitter. (Nothing but trouble there, people.)
But so much more came pouring out, especially on the Yahoo! site. That David was the target is pretty grim.
OTHERWISE, the reunion of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr was the only other real high point -- for me. Please remember I'm over 30. (I much preferred Taylor Swift at the piano to Beyonce's writhing and lip-syncing, but that's just being old-fashioned.)
Ringo always was, and remains the most appealing, accessible, down-to-earth Beatle. John could be acidic, George too mystical. Paul remains active and successful (he took a Grammy Sunday night), but one gets the impression modesty is not one of his qualities at this point.
Then again, what mega-star is truly modest? After a decade or two, certain things pass away. And nowadays, it doesn't even take a decade, or any hit songs. Justin Bieber thinks he and Michael Jackson are so very similar!
OTHER THAN Madonna, I only caught Katy Perry on the Grammy red carpet. Katy put in a big '60s-style pulled-up-and-back chignon, and wore a playful Valentino gown that jarred a bit with the regal hairdo. But she was forgiven for the clashing of tresses and dress, because she was so sweet and amusing, talking to Ryan Seacrest.
OH, very funny stuff on the USA network Sunday night. This was the promo for a "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" marathon: "Tonight, Grammy Night, the cast of Law & Order" will be with ... The Grannies!" Yes, it was a series of shows about killer grandmas!
OF COURSE, I was channel-hopping during the Grammys, checking out what was happening on "Downton Abbey." I am happy Anna told Mr. Bates about her assault. But -- silly Anna -- she didn't tell all. And Mr. Bates has such a temper.
I FEAR what will happen to the person silly enough to leak Quentin Tarantino's script, causing the volatile director to furiously cancel his movie. He has vowed to find the culprit. This is the director of "Reservoir Dogs," "Django Unchained" and "Inglourious Basterds" -- to name a few violent epics. This leaker ought to seek asylum in Russia, along with Edward Snowden! (Snowden says he's receiving death threats. Maybe he and the script thief could travel further into Russia -- Siberia is lovely this time of year.)
(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com.)
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