"DON'T MATTER how much money you got. There are two kinds of people; there's saved people and there's lost people."
So said Bob Dylan.
NOW THAT teen idol, troublemaker deluxe, Justin Bieber has finally been arrested -- speeding in a car while under the influence -- we shall see which side of Dylan's homily Justin falls to.
Will this arrest wake Bieber up enough for him to allow his parents -- or somebody close to him -- to rid his life of users and enablers, perhaps put him in rehab and sort out the closer-than-ever end of his teen-dream days? Or will he be a Lindsay Lohan casualty of too much, too soon -- a slow-motion wreck we are embarrassed to witness?
I'm hoping for the former, rather than the latter. We'll see. (Justin looks vastly amused in his first mug shot.) Young people do have to sow a few wild oats. Unfortunately, one of Justin's partners in sowing, allegedly, has been his own dad. So I guess we can scratch parental influence helping him.
OH, speaking of Lindsay, she appeared in Sundance recently, with all the crew from her Oprah-financed reality show, to announce her new movie, something called "Inconceivable." With her hair a flattering russet, she looked good, much like the Lindsay of "Mean Girls." But the actress was rather inarticulate about the movie itself. Veteran Sundance-ers were not amused. Much was made of the title of her planned film.
At only 27, it is not inconceivable that Lohan can return to some of her youthful glory. But barging into Sundance was maybe not a great first step. Still, she and Oprah needed another episode for the show, so why not trek up to the land of serious filmmakers and dash around in the wintry wonderland?
ODDS and Ends: The now-extinct Passenger Pigeon once crowded the skies by the millions. But man marched on, killing the species, often transforming them into pigeon pie. The last of these birds was named Martha, who lived out her life alone, although big bucks offers went out to find her a mate. Martha died a maiden in 1914, was then packed in ice and transported to the National Museum of Natural History, where she spends eternity, alone and very frustrated!
...Barbie, the original doll of dolls, has recently been given a twin sister; a much bigger twin sister. So much bigger than even critics who have thought Barbie foisted unrealistic body issues on young girls were taken aback. (Did plus-size Barbie really have to sport three chins?)
So here's one defense of the original Barbie: "For all of Barbie's girly reputation, she's built for real emotions, for backyard adventures and roughhousing. Also to her credit? The woman has managed to hold down over 130 careers. Besides the aerobics instructing and lifeguarding, she has also been an astronaut, a presidential candidate, an architect, an engineer, a doctor, a paleontologist. Sure, her longest-standing career has been that of a fashion model, but you try having the same job for five decades and see if you don't start dabbling in firefighting and dentistry."
...When President Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act he used 72 pens, one of which he gave to Martin Luther King.
...Martha Stewart still has her grandmother's Singer sewing machine, in perfect working order. Martha says she often "gives Singer sewing machines to kids for their birthdays, bar and bat mitzvahs. I believe a sewing machine is as indispensable today as a personal computer or a smartphone." All you "Doomsday Preppers" out there -- listen to Martha! You'll have to make all your own clothes when the zombies attack. (And listen to me -- save your precious items. You never know. I sold my two Andy Warhols for $1,500 apiece years ago. I kept my Andy dog cookie jar; I guess it's worthless. Well, I never was a businesswoman!)
FINALLY, here's this quote: "Not even girls want to be girls as long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength and power." That was psychologist William Moulton Marston in 1943. Two years earlier, Moulton and Harry G. Peter debuted the first female superhero -- Wonder Woman!
By the way, all the above tidbits come from a recent issue of Smithsonian magazine. The magazine has spawned an excellent TV network, which is the go-to place for fascinating history. The once-fine History Channel now devotes itself to "Ancient Aliens" and a lot of religiosity! (You can count on at least one Armageddon hour a week.)
PAL, the Police Athletic League, which does so much for NYC kids, is honoring Benjamin Brafman with the Robert M. Morgenthau Award and giving the Centennial Leadership Award to Robert J. McGuire, former NYC police commissioner. This happens on March 19 at The Pierre.
These are men I already miss in this brand-new era of policing.
(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com.)
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