"PREPARE OUR suite at once. We'll be in the bar," said the internationalist Hunter S. Thompson.
This is the ad for Ghurka luggage. And it's the only advertising I've liked lately.
IN THE NEWS: In regards to "stop-and-frisk," I am inclined to lean toward Mayor Bloomberg and Police Commissioner Ray Kelly as to whether it really works or not. I believe they are heroes!
I want to complain, though, about old age stop and frisking. I have always been able to rip through security at international airports everywhere because I am so good looking, young and innocent.
But now that I have an official ID card from Dr. Mark Figgie of the Hospital for Special Surgery, which verifies that I have an artificially authentic hip replacement, I am stopped at every entrance. Security personnel ignore the card. They ignore my cane, except to examine it for hidden sabers. They ignore a wheelchair, which may be loaded with explosives. And I am stopped for a full-body scan every time and frequently I find myself having those adorable hand-patted, total strip downs. If you have seen me nude in airports all over the world, I'm not an exhibitionist. It's not my fault. I don't really object to this, but it happens every single time, since I bought a new hip.
I realize that little children and old people carrying machinery need to be examined carefully. We can't get any special consideration, nor do we deserve any, except for, perhaps, possibly speeding us through the line after we've been certified harmless. But I'm thinking of starting The Old Age Stop and Frisk Protest because I simply can't get used to having my underwear on display everywhere I go. I am going to have to go back to Victoria's Secret.
IN THE ongoing hoo-ha over Miley Cyrus at the Video Music Awards, let's just say I wasn't shocked. Just rather sad that young women feel the need to show the world they are "all grown up" by behaving this way. Granted, it was the VMAs, and when have they not had a shocking moment or two? When Madonna humped the stage in her wedding gown back in 1985, I recall she was the Devil incarnate, Sodom and Gomorrah in the flesh, and all who watched her performance should have been turned to pillars of salt. Nobody did and the young audience, who loved that exhibition, is all grown up and a lot of them wish Madonna would dress properly and not put gold grills on her teeth. They are now parents and professional people with children of their own.
My goodness, many who loved Elvis Presley's "subversive" writhing probably grew up to be conservatives! This is far less a matter of what MTV airs than it is a troubling look at Miss Cyrus and what she believes is going to prove to the world that she is ready for ... what, exactly?
MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski has been so worked up over this she is demanding that "somebody be fired" from MTV.
That's not going to happen, and it shouldn't. I'm not a big believer in firing people willy-nilly because you don't like what they say or do (unless it's an actual crime.) But Mika, mom to several daughters, certainly has a point that we live in an increasingly sexualized culture. But that genie can't be put back in the bottle. We can't undo, for instance, the fact that Marilyn Monroe refused to lie about posing nude for calendar art in 1952 -- much to the horror of the studio grooming her for stardom. "Of course, I did it. I needed the money. I did nothing wrong." Her career was made. There were no reports of anybody taking the road to degradation because of Monroe's exposure.
Today, you can't escape the sexual landscape, but the media promotes it even more than the movie and TV studios and advertising companies. And then they pretend to be "shocked, shocked!" If you are a parent and concerned, talk to your children openly, honestly and without judgment.
Then -- make sure there's only one computer in the house, a lock on certain TV stations you deem too adult and then try not to let them run around wearing a bead and a prayer. Not that it will help much. They'll use their friends' computers, watch those "forbidden" shows somewhere else and change clothes at school. Nine times out of 10 they'll turn out fine. Just like you, Mom.
RECEIVED A lovely note from Art Greenhaw, who produces records for Ann-Margret. He thanked us for our recent column on the lady, and then went on to remind us that A-M is really a woman of many talents. Over a 10-year period she has released three gospel albums -- "God Is Love," "Ann Margaret's Christmas Carol Collection" and "God Is Love 2."
That's all a long way from her hip-swinging image, but then again, her good friend Elvis Presley was adored for his gospel work, as well.
See, you can be sexy and love Him, too. Maybe Miley Cyrus is a little too young for a foray into gospel. She's got to get this other stuff out of her system first. But she has country roots. Her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus. So maybe 10 years from now Miley will put her tongue back in her mouth and praise the Lord.
(E-mail Liz Smith at MES3838@aol.com.)