On one corner, you have Dolly, who's been wearing tacky, sequined gowns for four decades now.
And on the other corner is Britney, an upstart in comparison who's only been wearing the (often medicated) diva crown for a little over two decades.
Who do you pick? Or are tickets for both so expensive you might just end up going to a dirt-cheap show at Charm City Art Space?
Wondering what else to do this weekend? Our weekly nightlife guide is here.