1 star (out of four)

Set up for a blind date by his slob brother (Jonathan Silverman), a recently divorced Los Angeleno named Todd (Jonathan Bray) meets Kelly for coffee. Kelly (Wilson Cruz) turns out to be a guy. Now that's some meet-cute! Queerphobic panic segues into a friendship and the dangling anticipation of something more, leading to rampant workplace and family speculation regarding Todd and his bed and whom he prefers in it.

Writer-director Stewart Wade expanded his festival-circuit short film into a blobby, watery feature-length enterprise, unredeemed by its cast (though Sally Kirkland shows up as Todd's mom). It's so full of bland good will, the story goes nowhere in romantic-comedy terms, and far too much of the dialogue carries the earnest air of the following exchange:

"I guess I let my feelings get out of control."

"Feelings have a way of doing that."

Precious few of the daily-life details ring true. Todd asks Kelly to the movies because he doesn't know anyone in L.A. who likes to go to the movies? And he's supposed to be this big cinephile, yet his favorite film is "Amadeus"? Straight, gay or bi-, that's reason enough to call for the check. ----

'Coffee Date'

Running time: 1:34. Opens Friday at Landmark Century Centre Cinema, 2828 N. Clark St.; 773-509-4949. Director Stewart Wade will host a Q&A after the 7:40 p.m. Friday screening. No MPAA rating.