Wish list: Oscar ceremony
What we want to see — and can do without — on Sunday
Billy Crystal (Handout, ABC / December 19, 2011)
Let Billy Crystal do his thing
Sure, he may not be the hippiest host, but Crystal's an Oscar-host pro. He knows what he's doing and he's funny doing it. We're hoping for a classic Crystal opening monologue, hopefully one of those song medleys that humorously mentions the major nominees. Or a montage where he's inserted into films Crystal pierced and tattooed in a "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" shout-out? Totally would work.
We hear Kermit and Miss Piggy are presenters, but why stop there? Let them do interviews in the audience. Have Miss Piggy award Best Actor. Waldorf and Statler and Waldorf in the balcony to poke fun at the dog from "The Artist."
Respect the good speeches
We know the ceremony's on a time schedule, but please don't awkwardly cut off people in the middle of a speech. Sure, if they're long-winded, move things along. But even if they're not famous, they're winning an Oscar for God's sake. Let them have their moment.
Oscar's tagline this year is "Celebrate the movies in all of us," which is, um, different. So we're hoping to see little snippets of average folks talking about how certain films have affected them. We can all do without the 45th montage about "war on film," and can do more of an interesting montage like this.
Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer
If they win, don't cut off their speeches. These two have had a touching acceptance speech for every award they've won so far. If they don't win, just invite them on stage to talk for a little bit. Yeah, we're a little too obsessed with these two.
No, thank you
Excessive couple shots
Let's keep the random camera pans to Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie and George Clooney-Stacy Keibler to a minium. Say, 5 times for Pitt-Jolie and 3 for Clooney-Keibler.
We're not sure why there's an insistence of incorporating dance into the show, but since Cirque du Soleil will be there for some reason, how about making it quick? We still have nightmares about the interpretive dance performance of the film "Crash."
Past winners introducing each acting nominee
While it's nice to see past winners from the 1940s or 50s, the parade of Oscar vets gushing over each Oscar nominee before Best Actor or Best Actress is awarded tries our actors-praising-other-actors threshold. Plus, it moves so slowly.
Winners, please don't utter the words, "Gosh, I didn't expect this," when picking up your award. Everyone. Says. This. And it's becomes less believable when you pull out a card where you wrote own who to thank.
Ignoring the lesser-known animated films
We've never heard of nominees "A Cat in Paris" and "Chico & Rita." We're assuming most people haven't. How about quick a quick synopsis of each and a clip followed by questions from the audience? It'd help.