Where else can you go to hear someone beat boxin' while cops idly chat with the waitstaff and your best friend sits smiling before a Mediterranean backdrop? No clue? Well, folks, you can leave your passport at home -- it's none other than Towson's 24-hour Towson Diner.
Never before has being drunk and hungry offered so many rewards.
OK, this is what you get at the diner -- cheap (albeit
questionable) food; fast service (since the waitstaff wants your
drunk self out -- now!); other drunkards and/or innocent bystanders
with which to socialize and a terribly tacky Mediterranean wall
mural. Who knew that a half dozen beers could land a person
"waterfront" seating at Towson's premiere dining
After diners thumb through the plastic-clad, tackily iconic menu
and make their decisions, they're in for a totally interactive
experience that may be beyond most patrons' sobriety level:
ordering food. The process, in theory, is simple enough, but not at
the Towson Diner. The waitresses are gruff and the later (or
earlier, as the case may be) it gets, the more attitude they dish
out, which can make for some great entertainment. If you think
these brash broads don't know what they're doing, you are
drunk. Realize that you are only one of the hundreds of drunks they
have to deal with and they won't hesitate to deliver a backhanded
retort faster than a frustrated drag queen with a run in her
The food comes fast -- which is nice, but raises some serious
concerns about preparation -- can you really cook hash
browns and bacon in less than five minutes? Sanitation aside, the
food is nothing special. But it's always great for satisfying the
late-night munchies. As mentioned before, breakfast food is key,
and there's no better breakfast dish than eggs and bacon. You get
plenty of it at Towson Diner, since portions are huge. Plus, this
is one cheap eat that totally spares your wallet.
Dish: Classic breakfast food is good all day -- and it's
what most people order at the diner. (I mean, what are you gonna
do, order a Greek salad after chugging beers all night at the bar?)
The eggs are dry, but as far as taste goes, eggs are eggs. Tasty
nonetheless. The hash browns are served hot and shining in their
own grease -- yum! The bacon, though, is limp, which can be kind of
Damage: The classic breakfast of eggs, hash browns and bacon
runs approximately $7.
Decision: The Towson Diner is a great place to satiate drunk
munchies, and it's even cool to grab a bite here with friends, but
it's probably not the kind of place you'd go regularly (unless
you're regularly drunk, in which case this rule doesn't apply). The
waitstaff is tolerant, and when they give you the cold shoulder
it's more funny than offensive -- seriously, what do you expect at
1 a.m.? And while the food may not be topnotch, it fits the bill.
You can't go to a diner and expect fine dining, but you can go and
expect cheap and decent food -- and that's exactly what the Towson
YOU'RE BROKE. EAT HERE.
This is your brain on breakfast
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