Where else can you go to hear someone beat boxin' while cops idly chat with the waitstaff and your best friend sits smiling before a Mediterranean backdrop? No clue? Well, folks, you can leave your passport at home -- it's none other than Towson's 24-hour Towson Diner.

Never before has being drunk and hungry offered so many rewards. OK, this is what you get at the diner -- cheap (albeit questionable) food; fast service (since the waitstaff wants your drunk self out -- now!); other drunkards and/or innocent bystanders with which to socialize and a terribly tacky Mediterranean wall mural. Who knew that a half dozen beers could land a person "waterfront" seating at Towson's premiere dining establishment?

Aside from the surroundings, the best thing about this place is that you can order whatever you want whenever you want it. But most drunks want breakfast food, so that's the gold standard here. However, if you want to order something else, don't be afraid of the menu. It's loaded with pretty basic food and it's insanely long, so you're bound to find something you like.

After diners thumb through the plastic-clad, tackily iconic menu and make their decisions, they're in for a totally interactive experience that may be beyond most patrons' sobriety level: ordering food. The process, in theory, is simple enough, but not at the Towson Diner. The waitresses are gruff and the later (or earlier, as the case may be) it gets, the more attitude they dish out, which can make for some great entertainment. If you think these brash broads don't know what they're doing, you are drunk. Realize that you are only one of the hundreds of drunks they have to deal with and they won't hesitate to deliver a backhanded retort faster than a frustrated drag queen with a run in her hose.

The food comes fast -- which is nice, but raises some serious concerns about preparation -- can you really cook hash browns and bacon in less than five minutes? Sanitation aside, the food is nothing special. But it's always great for satisfying the late-night munchies. As mentioned before, breakfast food is key, and there's no better breakfast dish than eggs and bacon. You get plenty of it at Towson Diner, since portions are huge. Plus, this is one cheap eat that totally spares your wallet.

Dish: Classic breakfast food is good all day -- and it's what most people order at the diner. (I mean, what are you gonna do, order a Greek salad after chugging beers all night at the bar?) The eggs are dry, but as far as taste goes, eggs are eggs. Tasty nonetheless. The hash browns are served hot and shining in their own grease -- yum! The bacon, though, is limp, which can be kind of a downer.

Damage: The classic breakfast of eggs, hash browns and bacon runs approximately $7.

Decision: The Towson Diner is a great place to satiate drunk munchies, and it's even cool to grab a bite here with friends, but it's probably not the kind of place you'd go regularly (unless you're regularly drunk, in which case this rule doesn't apply). The waitstaff is tolerant, and when they give you the cold shoulder it's more funny than offensive -- seriously, what do you expect at 1 a.m.? And while the food may not be topnotch, it fits the bill. You can't go to a diner and expect fine dining, but you can go and expect cheap and decent food -- and that's exactly what the Towson Diner provides.