Celebs as shills are going too far

Kevin Cowherd

April 21, 2008

Here is the first thing I see the other night when I turn on the TV: Jamie Lee Curtis rubbing her belly and shilling for Activia yogurt.

"First the bad news," the commercial begins, "87 percent of this country suffers from digestive issues like occasional irregularity."

Eighty-seven percent! No wonder the economy's in the tank and we're getting nowhere in Iraq.

People are miserable! All they can think about is finding a bathroom.

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To emphasize the horror of this national calamity - only 13 percent of Americans are unburdened by digestive issues! - Curtis goes on to rub her belly theatrically.

By this point, I am beginning to have digestive issues myself.

Thankfully, Curtis has a solution for all this distress.

"I just discovered a yogurt called Activia that can help!" she continues brightly.

And Activia, says a voice-over, is clinically proven to help regulate your digestive system in just two weeks!

The commercial ends with Curtis noting how delicious the stuff tastes.

Then she pops a big gooey spoonful in her mouth and smiles rapturously, like she's digging into a mound of Haagen-Dazs cherry vanilla.

So it's come to this, I thought.

In a society fascinated with fame and fortune, a society that worships stardom even in its lowest forms - we'll have reality-show washouts running for Congress soon - we now have celebrities talking about stomach disorders and how to obtain relief.

And we're paying attention to them!

As if they have medical degrees and research backgrounds and know what they're talking about!

That's the truly scary part.

Sure, I understand that celebrities have been pitching products for years and years.

But this might well be the Golden Age of celebrity shills, judging by how many are out there.

You have Michael Jordan and Cuba Gooding Jr. pitching Hanes underwear.

You have Kelly Ripa pitching Electrolux appliances and Ashton Kutcher pitching Nikon digital cameras.