'Most teeth ever!': Stephen Colbert ponders what else Trump's doctors might say

The Washington Post

Stephen Colbert did not seem all that surprised that Donald Trump was not "the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency."

In fact, in the wake of revelations from Trump's doctor that the would-be president had personally dictated a glowing 2015 bill of health, Colbert quipped on Wednesday that he had received other letters that sounded vaguely medical and overwhelmingly Trumpian.

From the president's podiatrist: "Feet of a God, unless there's a draft, in which case bone spurs. Sad!"

And from Trump's dentist: "Most teeth ever. Much longer tongue than Obama."

On Tuesday, Trump's longtime physician, Harold Bornstein, told CNN that his signature was about the only authentic thing he wrote on the letter about Trump's health.

Trump "dictated that whole letter. I didn't write that letter," Bornstein said. "I just made it up as I went along."

The December 2015 letter had a certain Trump-esque bombast to it:

"His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary," it said. "If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency."

But while heavy on adjectives, the letter didn't include many medical claims to back up its glowing appraisal, besides saying Trump's blood pressure was 110/65. It said Trump had dropped 15 pounds over the past year, and said his cardiovascular health was "excellent."

Jimmy Kimmel also took a swipe at the letter controversy Wednesday: Trump's "doctor wrote a letter calling Trump the healthiest president ever, but now the doctor is saying Trump dictated the letter himself. Trump was like, 'Yes, I dictated it, and I am one of the healthiest dictators ever elected.'"

Colbert concluded his bit with a nod to another controversy swelling in the White House.

"You know who won't let Trump write the report for him?" he asked. "Robert Mueller."

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