By Beth Aaltonen
8:33 AM EDT, May 14, 2012
Previously on "Survivor:" everything that happened this season. In hindsight, I bet the men sure are regretting that time they volunteered to go to Tribal Council and voted out Bill. And I wonder how the game would have played out if karma hadn't stepped in and taken Colton down.
Jeff then runs down each of the remaining contestants. To summarize: Sabrina and Kim are awesome; no one knows why Christina never got voted off; Chelsea is also awesome, plus the guys love her; and Alicia survived despite everyone's expectations (including my own).
After Tribal Council, the women take a moment to celebrate; Alicia takes credit for getting rid of Tarzan, which, no, but whatever. They all realize that, come tomorrow, the game is back on, and it just got a whole lot harder.
After getting Treemail, Kim talks to Sabrina about the fact that Chelsea is pretty much the only one that could beat them. You can tell instantly that Sabrina's not really down with that. I'm not surprised, and Kim shouldn't be either. Sabrina has been loyal and straightforward since the beginning. Sabrina also realizes that if Chelsea gets immunity, she's the next target. Alicia would love the chance to get rid of Chelsea.
Immunity Challenge time! It starts out with untying ropes, then a maze, then a bouncy rope net (which I think is the same net Kourtney broke her arm on) to collect puzzle pieces, which gives clues to the combination lock at the end of the race. That's really a mish-mash of previous challenges, isn't it? Did they just have a bunch of stuff left over? Alicia and Chelsea are the first to the puzzle pieces, but Alicia screws up by not only untying her own pieces, but other people's as well, inadvertently helping them out.
The puzzle tells them to add up the total number of skulls, how many pieces, and how many words are on the puzzle. Kim is the first one done, but she seems to miss counting the cow skull and gets the combination wrong. Alicia also tries, and is also wrong. Chelsea finally gets in the game, and her, Kim, and Alicia are all trying at the same time. Kim wins, and immediately hugs Chelsea. I hope this isn't the end of Chelsea.
It's telling that Kim says, "Every person I send to the jury." She does think she's running this game. She does definitely have some power with this vote. Chelsea brings up using the Immunity Idol if Alicia and Christina tries to get her out. I forgot Kim had an Immunity Idol. If I were Kim I wouldn't be giving anyone else any Immunity Idols at this stage of the game, and I love Chelsea.
Kim is playing both sides, telling Sabrina and Chelsea, and Alicia and Christina what they want to hear. We won't know which side she picks until Tribal Council.
Which, how convenient, here it is now. Jeff brings in the jury, and Tarzan looks pissed, but that could just be how he looks. Jeff tries to get Kim to state where her loyalties lie, but Kim doesn't rise to the bait. Chelsea flat out tells Kim that tonight is a good chance to earn some brownie points with the jury (by staying loyal, I assume).
Everyone votes, but we only see Alicia and Chelsea vote for each other. Kat thinks it's going to be Chelsea. As expected, Alicia and Chelsea tie at two votes each, but Kim stuck with her alliance, and Alicia is the next member of the jury. Kat thinks that Kim back-stabbed her and Alicia. Kind of chatty for a jury member, isn't she? Alicia is takes being voted off surprisingly well, but can't resist getting one more jab in at Christina.
Back at camp, Kim apologizes to Christina for lying to her for, well, the whole game, and Christina, as usual, takes it well. Have we ever seen her get really upset about anything? She just kind of rolls with it, and she's lasted this long when people were talking about getting rid of her in the first week.
Chelsea, in one breath, states how glad she is that Kim stuck with her loyalties, and, in the next, talks about taking Christina to the final three instead of Sabrina. That's what I hate about this game. People are all about loyalty as long as it works in their favor.
Treemail comes, and it's time for the Walk of the Fallen Survivors, where we treat the voted off contestants as if they died, and the remaining Survivors have to find something to say about people they barely remember. I've forgotten about some of these people as well, and I forgot how early Matt went out. He still thinks he played a better game than the people left. Well, bless his heart, he obviously doesn't realize that outlasting is kind of the whole point of Survivor, and how you measure your success in it.
Kim sums Colton up well, "Sorry you went out the way you did, but I'm glad you're not here." I bet you he shows up in another season of "Survivor." Maybe not the next one, but soon.
Final Immunity Challenge! This one is usually an endurance challenge, but this season is an exception. While it is a long challenge, this time it will also take some skill, not just sheer endurance. It's hard to describe, but they have to feed a small bowl through a metal channel suspended on a spring.
Once finished, you have to balance the bowl on a platform on the top, and so on until all 10 bowls are balanced. Dude, Christina is doing really well at this, tied with Kim for most of it. That would be awesome if she won. But she doesn't -- Kim wins another immunity.
So should we even pretend like it isn't Christina going home? Kim already had a chance to get rid of Chelsea, and didn't take it, and Sabrina's anger would be righteous and a thing to behold if she got voted out. And she'd get a chance to talk to every single member of the jury about it, too. Oh, and look, Christina agrees with me as well. You know, Christina is way cooler than anyone else in this game ever gave her credit for. She truly realizes that this is just a game. The editors try to fake us out by having Kim express doubt, but please, it's totally Christina being voted out.
Tribal Council time! Jeff brings in the jury, and I actually think Alicia looks better with no make up and her curly hair. Everybody gives Christina a hard time for not trying to maneuver more. I think Christina is just good at reading a room. There's strategizing, and then there's getting desperate, much like Troy did. Yeesh, this conversation is getting on my nerves; let's just get to the voting already.
And, yup, Christina is voted out and is the last member of the jury. Predictions for the win? I would like Chelsea to win, but I think Kim is the likely winner.
Back from Tribal Council, we're reminded why Sabrina is awesome. She realizes what a great experience this is, plus she's an inner-city teacher who just got laid off. Kim has the best defense to use at the final tribal council, so I'll quote her verbatim: "I know I lied to you and voted you out, but I have no boobs left, so show a little mercy." Amen.
They get a treat basket, and act like they haven't seen food in weeks. I've watched this whole season ladies, I've seen you guys eat on a fairly regular basis, and the three of you went on a reward challenge, like, three days ago.
This is it -- Final Tribal Council time. Time to see who's bitter, who has already decided who they're voting for, and who is still open to deciding. Chelsea starts, and based on the smiles on the faces of most of the men, she's winning. Chelsea is tying her wagon to Kim's a little bit, letting the jury know that she and Kim made decisions together.
Kim is next, and does pretty well until she says "when I sent one of you home" which some people might not appreciate. I don't know. People will either give her props for the game she played, or be bitter because of it. It could go either way.
Sabrina needs to plead her case a little more, since she never won an individual reward or immunity. She tries for the I'm-a-great-person-outside-the-game, bringing up the inner-city teacher thing, as well as the fact that she just got laid off (which does suck). It's a good try, but I don't think that's ever worked for anyone.
Now it's time for the jury to speak. Jonas is first and he has a sense of humor about it; he wants to know what Chelsea's biggest move is -- she says it was getting rid of Kat. Jonas also wants to know why Kim didn't take Christina to the final three. Kim admits she was tempted, but if she was truly going to play a good game, she had to go to the end with the best.
Christina asks Kim who she should take out, between Chelsea and Sabrina, and Kim picks Chelsea, since she has a better chance of winning against her. Jay has no hard feelings, but wants to know why Sabrina took it so easy -- was it strategy or laziness? Sabrina of course says that was strategy -- she'd be stupid to say it was just her personality.
Mike wants to know what Kim's definition of a blindside is, and if she's perfected it. He points out to her that she's taken all the blame for all of her blindsides, which may be used against her. Or for her, if you can look at it impartially and appreciate the game play, which is kind of what Kim's banking on.
Oh goodness, it's Tarzan's turn. He talks about his wife a whole bunch. Again, I appreciate that he really, really loves her, but it's neither the time nor the place.
Leif is still hurt that he's been voted off, and wants to know why and how. Kim is smart and replies that it's because she thought he was a threat (make him feel important). Sabrina blames Kim, and Chelsea doesn't answer.
Alicia's turn, and she calls herself a "kingpin" with her "pawns," and basically spends her whole time talking about how awesome she (Alicia) is. She doesn't ask a question, and she's totally voting for Kim.
Troyzan is up, and is only asking Kim a question (the only one he has a problem with) -- when did she make her move against him? Her answer is when she took out Jonas, which Troyzan thinks is the wrong answer.
Kat was really upset about being voted out (no, really?) but it was Kim who really destroyed her. And she's apparently had two open heart surgeries, and needs one more? So she doesn't have time to be mad? I don't really understand what one has to do with the other, but she makes Chelsea cry. Of course, that may be what Kat was looking for.
Voting time. Troy votes for Sabrina; Kay votes for Kim, even though she's upset; and we don't see the rest of the votes. I think Kim's won it. But we (and they) have to wait until the reunion special in New York to find out who has won. Lucky for us, that's happening right now.
And … it's Kim! Taking the risk of being the bad guy worked for her, and letting her be the bad guy blew up in Chelsea's face. Chelsea did not get a single vote that we saw; Sabrina got two.
Kim wasn't my favorite, but I can't deny that she deserved it.
Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun