If you're a fan of awards shows, drinking isn't required to get through the three-hour self-celebration that is the Emmy Awards. But it sure makes it more fun.
And if you're either not a big awards show person (or perhaps forced to watch for some reason), we want to help you out a bit.
Here's our official drinking game for Monday's ceremony (8 p.m., NBC). And if you need to, feel free to blame us for taking a personal day on Tuesday.
TAKE A DRINK IF
• Host Seth Meyers makes an ill-advised joke referencing "Orange is the New Black" and race relations.
• Matthew McConaughey makes a bizarre reference to the universe, God or "living life" or in his Best Actor acceptance speech.
• Every time the word "Heisenberg" is used.
• A selfie happens. Ironically or not.
• Tina Fey/Amy Poehler cameo in a skit!
• Tina Fey/Amy Poehler are funnier in their skit than Meyers is for the whole show.
• Jessica Lange allows a smile. Or a smirk.
• Kerry Washington is described as either "stunning" or "perfection" in the red carpet pre-show.
• Timely health care website joke!
TAKE A SHOT IF
• Someone says, "Wait, they died?!" during the In Memoriam segment.
• Jim Parsons wins for both "The Big Bang Theory" and "The Normal Heart."
• Awkward joke involving some sort of variation on the following: "We're outlawing gay marriage when we should be outlawing marriage on 'Game of Thrones!'"
• Maggie Smith finally makes it to the ceremony this year.
• Self-deprecating reference to last year's death-heavy ceremony.
• Christina Hendricks outdoes herself in the cleavage department this year.
• Outdated reference to Lena Dunham's "Girls" nudity.
• Someone admits to watching "Shameless" and/or "Episodes."
FINISH YOUR DRINK IF
• You cry during the Robin Williams tribute.
• Kevin Spacey thanks Bill Clinton and Paul Ryan in his Best Actor acceptance speech.
• Any acting win for "Downton Abbey."
• There's a skit combining the casts of "Game of Thrones" and "Orange is the New Black."
• Pre-planned Best Actress in a Comedy bit with Julia-Louis Dreyfus and Amy Poehler.Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun