By Sam Hiaasen
6:35 AM EDT, July 16, 2012
If you felt like little happened on this episode of "Weeds," you're not alone. But there was some action in episode three.
Nancy is back at the Botwin/Pryce/Grey etc. compound complete with her latest accessory, the pimp cane.
Following the bathroom quickie, Jill and Andy are happier than ever. Jill is organizing the cabinets and buying Nancy slip-proof socks -- uncharacteristically productive and thoughtful acts.
Meanwhile high in the CFO chair, Doug, typically not the brains of the bunch, is forced to take the fall for the company because of their financial indiscretions. Although panicked, Doug has a twinkle in his eye.
Back at the compound Shane leaves Nancy a cryptic note alluding to finding her shooter. Nancy and Silas, still not know who the shooter is, see visions of the croquet mallet incident flash in their minds as they dig through Shane's computer to learn where he could have gone. Eventually they learn that Nancy's second husband's son Tim Scottson was the shooter.
Andy is coaching the creepy twin's roller derby team when Jill's husband Scot makes his reappearance as a Derby Dad. Andy's Zen Buddhist coaching technique is no match for Scott's violent cheering from the bleachers. Despite bringing doughnuts, Andy was not able to win over the derby devil girls and loses morale.
Doug reveals his big secret plan: Setting up a charity and getting people to donate money without any intention of donating it anywhere. Hopefully this scheme will be enough to keep the drug dealing business afloat.
Nancy and Silas meet Tim The Shooter's creepy girlfriend, which shows them how pathetic Tim's life has become. His girlfriend hides the holes in her wall from stress punches while his 12 dead rabbits cook in the windowsill.
Even when the mother-son drug dealing duo finds Tim, his boss at Subway is harassing him. The new and improved Nancy uses this opportunity to try and change a young man's life around.
"I cannot be responsible for another messed up kid," she said. Threatening Tim with her cane and the possibility of being shot by her son, Nancy uses the kidnapping of her shooter not to get even with him, but to give him life coaching.
"When we lose, we burn your shoes," Jill's demon twins chant as Andy watches his tailored for eight-toed shoes burn in the oven. Andy retaliates by cutting the red dread off one of the twins' heads.
Yes one of, because not even Andy can tell the twins apart. This causes Andy and Scot to fight like two young girls. Clearly the two dads need to learn from their freakishly aggressive twins on how to spar.
In the end, Shane did not kill Tim despite taking his gun. Instead, he took the high road and arrested him with the help of his police department friends. It seemed like all was right in Nancy's world as her once outlawed family is finally making steps to become the Botwins 2.0.
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