I'm not really one to question a Festival of Tolerance. It sounds nice. But perhaps the timing's not right when you're very much in midst of a murderous witch-vampire battle.
And the head witch has turned into a cult leader.
WORST FESTIVAL OF TOLERANCE EVER: Nan's Vampire League leadership never gets questioned. Maybe it should after this episode. Despite Bill's pleas, she's decided to go forward with the vague Festival of Tolerance. Even when silvered the day before in case Marntonia is up to her tricks.
Shocker -- she is! And now Eric is under her command, something Marntonia rabid acolyte Roy is loving. Her other minions? Not so much. "I only got into this wiccan thing to piss off my parents!" on screams. The moral lesson: Even if you're thinking about making your parents mad by joining a coven, you could instead be a part of a war.
Marntonia's plan: Make a mockery of the Festival of Tolerance in Shereveport. You know, use Eric as a pawn, perhaps kill a few folks. Bill vs. Marntonia: Round Two!
Tara, Holly and the other members of the Marntonia Army aren't feeling it (except, again, this Roy dude), but when they question "Marnie" about her goals, she gets all MY NAME IS ANTONIA on them. And locks them in the Moon Goddess Emporium. And makes their hands burn if they try to leave.
After Sookie tries to infiltrate the Emporium with a double-agent (?) Debbie Pelt, she learns of their devious plan from Tara (apparently rethinking the whole Marnie is awesome thing), and goes to warn Bill at the FOT.
The Festival seems innocuous enough, if sparsely attended. We hear from the organizer of LSU's Living-Dead Alliance (which I totally would have joined in college), and everything seems to be going Nan's way. Until Eric, under Marntonia's spell-control distracts the three sheriff guards, who, under Marnie's spell, kill three guards (we get to see their intestines, which was an instant throwback to Russel Edgington impaling that newsman last season).
I'm assuming this was not on the Festival of Tolerance agenda (Nan seems pissed), and we're left with Sookie yelling after Bill, people flying through the air, Sookie eying the under-control Eric and yelling "RUN"!
Not sure what's in store for our main characters here, but why do I feel like Nan is going to get what's coming to her? Not only did she greenlight this Festival, but decided to say that the Civil Rights Movement would have gone smoother if African-Americans hadn't been involved. I had to replay that section to see if she really said that.
Also, her actions are making Bill's leadership seems stellar and level-headed by comparison. She's actually "longing for the days of Queen Sophie-Anne?" Really? With all the V-selling and Evan Rachel Wood-ness of it all?
And complicating Sookie's allegiance is one, uh, interesting, dream sequence. Let's discuss...
A DREAMY THREESOME: Last week, Sookie drempt of having sex with Eric on a bed in the snow. This time? Um, she's fantasing about Bill again. And Eric.
Recovery post-shooting (side note: fastest recovery ever), Sookie has a bit of a crazy dream sequence. With an oldies soundtrack. She dreams Eric comes back to her. But Bill pays a visit as well. "I'm older than you," Eric sneers. "I love her 20 times more than you do," Bill replies.
Oh, what's a dreaming Sookie to do? Well, get kind of naked and propose that they are hers, instead of them saying "she's mine." Yup, she wants to turn the tables and make them both hers and goes on a rant about how women should have the same power to make men "their's." Gloria Steinem is undoubtedly proud. Also helping her argument: Her ripped body and some red lingerie. Good work, Sooks.
OH, AND MORE SEX: So Jason and Jessica did the deed for reals this time. Not just in a dream. In the back of his pick-up truck. Hotter than it should be, and yet I'm still worried about the infection risk.
WORST JUXTAPOSITION: Yeah, this one involves sex as well. Luna and Sam, out camping, sex it up in a tent. But the scene is juxtaposed with Tommy, again shape-shifting into his bro, posing as Sam to take a beating from Marcus, Luna's crazy ex-husband. Tommy finally does something right and redeeming and we have to watch someone getting the snot beat out of them interspersed with scenes of outdoor camping sex?
SHOULD-HAVE-BEEN-CUTE-BUT-WASN'T: Luna's daughter, Emma, wants to catch a wild rabbit, but can't. So Sam becomes one and she cradles him-it. "Isn't he cute?" Emma asks her mom. "He sure is," Luna responds. Eww.
NOT-EXACTLY-TRUE SAM STATEMENT: "The three of us are camping, going back to nature. "Going back to nature is the 100-percent opposite of running away."
GHOST ADVENTURE: I'm officially calling it: The Lafayette becomes a medium and possessed by the spirit of a 1920s Creole woman situation? Weirdest "True Blood" subplot ever. And that's saying something.
But we learned the ghost-woman has a name -- Mavis. That's exciting right? Lafayette-Mavis breaks into Hoyt's house (which was apparently once Mavis') as Lafayette proceeds to pull a gun on everyone who tries to help -- Andy, Jason, Terry (this baby-hostage) situation did not require more police help, apparently -- and continually pronounces "baby" as "bay-bee."
Jesus to the rescue! He calmly explains to Lafayette-Mavis that her baby is dead (and so is she) and his boyfriend is a medium and she entered his body. Good work, Jesus! It also helped that Lafayette-Mavis discovers his-her penis. "How'd I make a baby with this?" he-she says. Good question.
Mavis reveals she and her baby were buried in Hoyt's front yard. All she wants to do is cradle her baby one last time. Awesome. I could have done without seeing Lafayette-Mavis cradling her dead baby's corpse, but whatever gets her spirit out of his body, I 'suppose.
"Sweet Jesus, it's a miracle," Arlene says after Mavis flies out of Lafeyette's body and glows and goes up to heaven. I guess.
BEST POLICE THEORY: Jason, to Jesus on what he originally thought was going on with Lafayette. "When you guys role-play, does Lafayette ever turn into a woman named Mavis."
LEAST APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO A GHOST-LADY THANKING YOU FOR REUNITING HER WITH HER DEAD BABY: "You got it, bitch." -- Lafayette.
BEST MOTIVATION FOR PACKING UP YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND'S STUFF: Hoyt spotting Jessica's Taylor Swift CD. The "For you, Monster" writing on the box? Not cool, Hoyt.
THE DEBBIE PELT CONUNDRUM: I want to like Debbie because she watches "Cheaters." I don't want to like Debbie because she's back on V, probably using Sookie and seems to have a thing for sadistic pack leader Marcus. But she does like "Cheaters." I'm torn.
What'd you think of "Let's Get Out of Here"? Want to launch a Festival of Tolerance with me ... at an appropriate time? Post your thoughts below.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun