Lafayette appears and begins to cry and shake his head.

Suddenly -- and I mean so suddenly that I jumped out of my chair -- vampire Tara jumps out the ground and immediately begins to attack Sookie, who lets out a giant scream.

Which begs the question: Which type of vampire will vampire-hater Tara be? Will she remember Sookie and will Pam, who pretty much hates both Sookie and Tara, be a helpful maker? Will she be even more angry than usual (which is saying something for Tara)?

Well hell, at least she's back. Watch ya neck, Sook.

Bill and Eric: Vampire Friends Forever: Where were Bill and Eric when Sookie was in trouble with Debbie Pelt? They were a bit preoccupied with cleaning up the murdered Nan (which we see Eric do in 1980s-movie-montage-style fast-forward motion).

They both sense she's in trouble, 'F--- Sookie," Eric says. "Did you not hear her tonight? She rejected us both." Nice, Eric.

Still they eventually both race out the door, only to be captured by burning silver nets. The Authority strikes again!

Taken by two Authority officials, Bill and Eric are dumped in the trunk of a car until the two devise a way to blow up said car (puncturing the gas tank? How MacGyver of them). 

"Who wants to die first?" says the male kidnapper.

Apparently it was him, because the female kidnapper dispatches him rather violently. 

"Nora," Eric purrs, runs up to the kidnapper and starts kidding her.

"Friend of yours?" Bill asks

"That's my sister, actually," Eric says.

We later learn that by "sister," Eric means that he and Nora had the same maker (Godric), but it's still sort of creepy, especially since they have sex later as Bill keeps watch outside.

Eric clearly has friends in high places (he says no one knows about his relationship with Nora), but it's still going to take a lot of work to get them to a safe place (perhaps not sex-with-vampire-sister safe, but still, safe).

On the way to getting new identities, Nora informs the two that there are factions in the Authority — some applaud what they did to get rid of last season's necromancers and some who want them to suffer the True Death immediately. I'm assuming this will be the central Authority-themed issue this season. Nora is apparently a "Chancellor of the Vampire Authority," which sounds as though it's right below the Guardian of the Vampire Authority (to be played later by guest Christopher Meloni). 

Authority politics be deadly.

The plan to get Bill and Eric away safely is, shockingly, foiled by an unseen force that kills all the collaborators (conveniently minus Bill, Eric and Nora). Next stop: Meloni?

Well hello, Steve Newlin: Remember religious anti-vampire whack job Steve Newlin? He's back — but in vampire form! And paying Jason a visit. 

In a ridiculously random but hilarious scene, Steve swears he's not there to hurt Jason (even though Jason slept with his wife and pretty much ruined his whole ministry).