Eric tries to escape the Authority whether Nora likes it or not.

Eric tries to escape the Authority whether Nora likes it or not. (HBO / August 5, 2012)

Exhibit 23 of how ridiculous most of this episode was: Sookie actually says, "I'll be fine once I wash the pig out of my hair."

The season has tried my patience. It's not horrible, it's not great. Some moments are pretty great in a very campy way (I particularly loved the crazy-bad new villain Sweetie Desarts). And Pam, of course, continues to be the best thing on the show.

But this episode was pretty unbearable, save for the first 10 minutes of a return-to-sassy-form Lafayette. The "Obamas" shifter assassins feeding Hoyt and Sookie to pigs?! The most boring time at the Authority ever (minus a weird sex scene with Salome and Bill)?! Alcide wandering around like a lost puppy?!

Well, at least we likely saw the last of the smoke-fire monster.


Randomly, most of the episode centered on the shifter assassins, now called "the Obamas" because of their masks, which Jason brilliantly deduces are used to hide their identities (which was dumb even for Jason).

Sam and Luna are hellbent on finding out who the Obamas are, so they meddle in the ongoing sheriff investigation. Andy finds the shifter assassins' web site (which really should have been found earlier, right?), and notices some boots he recognizes.

They belong to former sheriff Bud Dearborne, who just happens to get a visit from Sookie who's trying to get more information on her parents' murder. The sheriff was the one who discovered the body, and as Sookie tries to talk to him about it, she's hit over the head by a frying pan wielded by the sheriff's new love, Sweetie Desarts.

Sweetie. Des. Arts. She's plus-sized, likes to wear a short robe and is the "dragon" in charge of the shifter assassins. She hates all supernaturals, or "supes" as she says with much venom. And Sookie discovers, via mind-reading, that Sweetie was once cheated on by a guy who hooked up with a shifter.

That's the root of this. The sheriff hates all supes because he thinks they are responsible for much of the unsolved crimes when he was sheriff. Which may be true, but joining an extremist cult modeled after the KKK seems like a drastic step, Bud.

Anyway, Sookie is tied up and placed in the pig barn with Hoyt. Sweetie and the Obamas decide to then film them feeding Sookie and Hoyt to their pigs. But it all goes wrong when Sam, who has shifted into a pig, comes to human form and nakedly fights with the assassins (Luna does her part, too, and nakedly runs after Sweetie and punches her lights out).

There was lots of nakedness this episode. And pigs.

Andy and Jason leads the sheriff's department to the barn right when the naked Sam fighting is going down, and then kills Bud Dearborne after he raises a shovel and yells, "Humans rule."

And Hoyt almost gets eaten to death by pigs.

Like I said, this was perhaps one of the most ridiculous plots in"True Blood"history (though I want more Sweetie." I feel as though this is a turning-point season for wanting to to keep watching "True Blood" -- even for fans.

Sookie is pushed to the side, just getting caught up in everything bad that happens in Bon Temps. The shifter assassins plot is not well-done: it's laughably bad and not scary and not creepy enough. Hopefully it's over.

Also hopefully over: the Ifrit thing. Whatever the point of that was. Patrick kidnaps Arlene, lures Terry to Merlotte's and is about to kill him until Arlene stabs Patrick in the neck. Terry then ends up shooting Patrick in the head when the Iraqi woman who killed him tells him to "do what is right."

She seems pleased (as pleased as I was to finally say goodbye to Patrick), and then summons the Ifrit and tells it to "take what is yours."

I may have cheered a little bit.

Even the time at the Authority was more boring than usual. The plan to destroy Tru Blood factories is underway (Houston's factory is destroyed, as are a few more later), and Eric is busy plotting his escape -- with or without Bill (and with the random tech girl Molly played by Tina Majorino).