Ever wonder what a fairy burlesque club looks like?
It's sort-of like Moulin Rouge. But with more men in top hats and twinkly noises. And revelations about what happened to Sookie's parents.
Yup, we're back in fairyland, but it's not quite the bizarro heaven-like fairy world where Sookie lived for a year last season. Instead, fairies have set up shop in an invisible club in the middle of a field (the same field where Jessica was drawn to that man who smelled good).
I mean, if you're escaping vampires, humans and everything else, why not throw in some burlesque? It's a lot more fun than one of those pesky refugee camps.
We're brought to fairyland by Andy and Jason, who are taken to a club as a reward from a corrupt judge whose son got a slap on a wrist for that speeding ticket Andy hid.
At first, things look men — men and women dancing together! Women both interested in Andy and Jason! — but it gets weird quickly.
Jason runs into his cousin Hadley Hale, who's surprised to hear that Sookie is alive and vampires haven't eaten everyone (fairies have some inaccurate newsletters). "We've got to get to Sookie! They'll kill her, just like they did your parents," says Hadley.
Major slip, Hadley. It's always been noted that Sookie's parents died in a flood, but there's been an air of mystery to it. Don't know why vampires would kill the Stackhouses, but in a meandering episode like this one, you take any interesting surprise you can get.
Jason freaks out about the news, tears Andy away from his fairy loving (it's with that same fairy he randomly had sex with awhile back) and is kicked out by mean male fairies. They're pushed out into the field and the fairies shine their fairy hand lights at them.
Who's going to protect Sookie! Because someone (everyone!) has to! She's the golden supernatural child of Bon Temps or the world or something.
Lafayette is tired of saving Sookie, and he turns on his friend a bit this episode. Upset because Sookie told Alcide what really happened with Debbie Pelt (he says he's truly hurt since he sold so many of the peach pies Sookie made, which is one of the more ridiculous things he's ever said), he lets his Mexican black magic warlock persona take over and magically turn Sookie's car into a deathtrap.
Anyone else tired of Lafayette turning into the evil warlock? This is your legacy, dead boyfriend Jesus.
Sookie runs out of Merlotte's because she's saddened after reading the thoughts of all the customers who hate her because of what she did to Tara. The possessed car (even writing this makes me laugh inside) runs Sookie off the road and hits a pole.
Per usual with TV, Sookie knows just how to roll out of a car perfectly before she's hurt. Sure, it was going 80 mph, but Sookie's a stunt woman. Or something.
She decides to drown her sorrows at home, mixing every type of liquor in the cabinet. She also drunkenly sings "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" with hilariously new lyrics like, "If your not into vampires!" instead of "If you like making love at midnight."
Perfect time for Alcide to walk in, fresh from telling Debbie Pelt's parents that it was Marcus Bozeman who killed Debbie and that he killed Marcus. Always covering for Sookie, Alcide.
They drink and drunkenly flirt (Sookie offers him a horrendous drink made from triple sec, amaretto and Bailey's. Kids, do not try this at home) and end up furiously making out on her couch.
I like these two together, drunk or not. Bill, however, is not pleased, as he sees the whole thing go down from outside her window. He decides that Sookie might need to help he and Eric find Russell, and I'm sure that has nothing to do with him still being in love with her.
Speaking of Bill and Eric, they're dropped off by the Authority to begin their quest to find and kill Russell. They clearly don't know what they're doing, as they end up rummaging through Fangtasia and Eric strangling Pam to see if she was the one who let Russell loose (as if Pam would do that).
It's not the homecoming Pam was looking for — and she madly tells Eric that if he doesnt want to be with her anymore than he should free her from the bonds of maker-makee.