This show’s mythology can be overwhelming to follow, with several species of supes, shadow corporations and governments and of course, the constant flashbacks and shifting allegiances. So, it’s nice when we unexpectedly get to check in with a fan favorite, rather than meet someone new.
The episode starts at an L.A. yoga institute, with a guru coaching yogis through a series of asanas. It’s all pretty dull until we stop at a familiar face: SARAH FREAKING NEWLIN. She was quietly the only really great thing about Season 5 (killing that woman with a high-heeled shoe? C’mon!) and has been MIA ever since Jason ran her out of town. If she’s back, my hopes for this season will keep growing.
Pam and Eric
Eric, who contracted Hep-V about a month ago, is impressed that Pam found him -- and maybe a little shocked that she looked so hard. Not sure why. He’s been the only living creature Pam’s truly been devoted to for years. Well, him and Tara, whose death Pam sensed while she was in Morocco.
Eric doesn’t apologize for her loss, but instead asks her if she played the “Bucket Game” (vamp Russian Roulette), which makes her ask the question all of us have been screaming at our screens: “What is wrong with you? You are Eric f---ing Northman!”
But he’s given up. He lost Godric, Nora and someone named Sylvie, who we meet in a 1980s flashback of Eric in a Rhone Valley vineyard. Sylvie, a brunette French woman, is having sex with Eric under the moonlight when Nan Flanagan (!) interrupts them.
Turns out, Eric and Pam failed to register with their local sheriff or pay taxes, making the Authority very unhappy. Nan’s most upset that Eric was risking exposure by biting and having sex with Sylvie out in the open. Tru Blood was on its way and with it, mainstreaming was about to become a reality. Eric snarks at the news, but Nan assures him that the Authority and the Yakanomo Corporation, the makers of Tru Blood, mean business and will demand their compliance. Pam tells Nan that she understands, but Eric is defiant.
Nan gone, Pam promptly freaks. Eric just insulted an Authority member, so Pam’s pretty sure they need to make with the fleeing now. But Eric refuses to leave, on the grounds that Sylvie wants to finish university. Pam says Sylvie is “just a human,” and Eric reminds her that she’s his progeny. He’s always protected her and she falls into line with him. Not the Authority.
At Home with Alcide and Sookie
Done showering, Alcide looks for Sookie. Of course, she’s not there, because she has, once again, gone out into the night. By herself. With a body full of fairy blood. Alcide tracks her to Bill’s house, but they’re already headed elsewhere in a car. Bill assures Sookie that he covered their tracks, but he still wants to make sure she’s certain about her plan. She’s got on her "resolved face," so there’s no turning back.
Sam, Rev. Daniels and Sam’s creepy vampire match, Matt
Sam’s still reeling about what they learned in St. Alice, but all I can think is WHY AREN’T YOU OUT LOOKING FOR YOUR PREGNANT FIANCEE? This is actually the first time I have heard him mention Nicole in awhile.
Just as Daniels is offering Sam some wise words about what makes life worth living, Willa and Lettie Mae storm in, freaking and high on V, looking for Tara.
After leaving Daniels to handle his family business, Matt and Sam run straight into the mob of vigilantes, armed and waiting. Sam tries talking sense to them, but of course, they are all too blinded by hate and fear to be moved, with Vince unceremoniously killing Matt.
Vince says that Sam tricked Bon Temps into thinking they were voting for a human mayor when they were really voting for the devil. What’s more, the town has decided to make Vince mayor, instead. (No way that can go wrong, guys.) He tells Sam to leave Bon Temps, but that isn’t happening. Instead, Sam shifts into an owl and flies away.
Poor Jason Stackhouse
Andy’s speech about family really did get to him, and he asks Violet if she’d consider adopting a baby with him -- if they get through the current apocalypse, of course. Because Violet is The Worst, she accuses Jason of being soft. She wants him to be cold, unfeeling and honorable, like the men of her day, but Jason insists that he’s a modern man and not ashamed of it. The fight is interrupted by the arrival of Andy, Adilyn, Wade (both rescued from the BTPD jail) and Jess, whom Violet promptly threatens. See? The. Worst.
They fill Jason in on what happened at the police department, including Adilyn’s fears that the townspeople might be after Sookie.
On the search, they come across Sam’s abandoned truck and, of course, the gun-toting mob, which refuses to let them through. Worst of all is Hoyt’s mom, who is out to get Jess and Jason, who she (correctly) blames for Hoyt’s leaving. It probably didn’t help that his mom is awful, but whatevz.
Things take a turn when Hoyt’s mom shoots Jess in the arm, leading Violet to rush over and rip out Mrs. Fortenberry’s heart. The mob scatters, but that definitely won’t be the last of them.
Party at Lafayette’s!
Lafayette’s one-man-party is interrupted by the arrival of James, who's come over in search of more weed to forget about his troubles. Lafayette’s fresh out, and since James can’t swallow the pills he has handy, Lafayette offers to play counselor.
Basically, James is having problems with Jessica, who is distant because she’s still dealing with the guilt of killing Adilyn’s sisters. Late-night visits to discuss relationship problems? How long do you think it’s going to take before Lafayette and James are sleeping together?
Lafayette takes a cocktail of pills and has James drink from him; they trip and listen to music. James wakes a few hours later and freaks because he thinks Lafayette OD’ed. Of course, Lafayette’s a “professional,” so he’s fine. As James tenderly rubs V on Lafayette’s open bite wounds, Lafayette asks the obvious question. “Is you groovin’ on me?” Of course he is, but there’s Jessica to consider. Five bucks says they’re in bed by next episode.
Sookie’s plan is as stupid as expected
Basically, Sookie is using herself as bait, an idea she claims she got from Bill years ago, on their first trip to Fangtasia. She’s hoping the H-vamps will pick up on her scent and take her to their hideout.
Meanwhile, they have a nice chat about her relationship with Alcide (she’s afraid she doesn’t love him as much as he loves her, which is pretty obvious), fear and war. Sookie gets tired of waiting and stabs herself with a homemade stake. *insert eye roll here*
Willa and Rev. Daniels
After Lettie Mae settles down, Rev. Daniels allows Willa to drink from him and shares a story about how he came to Bon Temps. He and his first wife, Tanya, had lost their daughter six months before. His wife cheated and he lost faith in everything. One day, he woke up different. He got in the car and just drove, winding up in front of a boarded-up church where a drunken Lettie Mae sat. It was the first time they met.
People said that Daniels saved Lettie Mae’s life, but he says she saved him in return. For that reason, though he cares about Willa, he can’t have her around anymore. The temptation would be too strong for Lettie Mae. He rescinds the invitation to his home and Eric’s baby progeny is alone once again.
Back to 1980s France
Pam and Eric are both busy having sex with their respective French women when some sword-toting men in suits arrive. They are, of course, from the Yakanomo Corporation. Eric assures them that he’ll be more careful in the future, but they tell him to choose which one of his loves has to die: Pam or Sylvie. He offers himself up, but the Yakanomo rep says the Authority wishes him to stay alive. In the end, he chooses to spare Pam’s life and has to watch Sylvie callously murdered.
In present-day France, Pam is still trying to convince him not to give up his fight against Hep-V. With a steady blood supply, vampires are living longer with Hep-V (which is starting to sound a lot lie HIV) and a cure is supposedly on the way. She begs him not to make her watch him die, but he reminds her that she is free to leave. She’s no longer bound to him. Then, Pam remembers Sarah Newlin. She tells him that Jason let her live, hoping the fury he feels about Nora’s death will bring him back from the brink. Of course, it works. That should be fun.
Bye, bye Guru
Sarah, who is going by something that sounds like “Numi,” is busy having sex with her guru. Afterward, as she chooses a bottle of wine, the same goons from Yakanomo Corp. arrive. Her guru refuses to tell them where Sarah is, and they behead him. What exactly are they up to?
Back in the field
Glamoured by the H-vamps, Holly, who was taken on the hunt as a snack, stumbles into Sookie and Bill. The sick vampires attack, silvering Bill and grabbing Sookie, but Alcide, Sam and Andy’s search party conveniently all arrive before they can cart them off. They make short work of the H-vamps, with Wolf-Alcide even killing lead H-vamp Jerome.
The fighting done, Alcide starts to confront Bill about helping Sookie with her idiotic plan, but is shot by unseen vigilantes mid-rant. Andy and Jason manage to take out the shooters, but it’s too late. Alcide is dead on the ground. It’s sudden, unceremonious and yet still awful.
It also further proves my theory that HBO’s writers deliberately kill off every beautiful man on their shows just to spite me, personally. Thanks so very much.