From the get-go, I've been dreading the inevitable episode where we'd spend too much time delving into this season's tiresome side plots. And after last week's high-octane romp -- complete with multiple gasp-worthy cliffhangers -- I had a feeling that this week the writers might slow things down before going into overdrive and bringing the season to a close.
We're rounding the final curve of Season 6, but this week it felt like the writers were struggling to find enough content to fill the hour-long show.
Spoiler alert #1: Sookie doesn't drown
But really, did anyone think there was even the remotest of chances that Sookie would be killed off? As "Don't You Feel Me?" begins, it's Bill who’s feeling Sookie. When he senses her distress at being drowned, he calls out her name just like he used to back in "True Blood’s" heyday. Then he sends Warlow to rush to her rescue.
Warlow hurls the spirit of Corbett Stackhouse in the form of Lafayette high up into the air and scoops Sookie out of the water. Sookie asks Warlow to use his magic light to blast her daddy's spirit out of Lafayette's body so that she can tell her father to buzz off and leave her alone for good. Corbett doesn't put up much of a fight, especially considering how passionate he was about drowning his daughter just moments earlier.
Next, it's Warlow's turn to need rescuing. When Billith summons Warlow back to him, Warlow starts convulsing and vomiting blood just like Jessica did in the season premiere. No worries, though: Sookie grabs Warlow's hands and they escape to the faerie dimension, beyond Billith's reach.
Sadly, it's not at all flowers and light in faerie land. Warlow warns Sookie that she needs to tie him up, as night is coming and he's not sure he can control the vampire within him after dark. (Especially since he's hungry, and that Sookie is mighty tasty.)
While Warlow is tied up, he and Sookie have a nice long chat about Warlow's thousands-of-years-in-the-making plan to turn Sookie into a vampire so that they might live out a blissful half-fae/half-vamp life together for all of eternity.
At first Sookie seems (rightfully) perturbed by Warlow's fixation on her, but then decides that instead, she might as well be the "danger whore" that all of Bon Temps believes her to be. To that end, she lets Warlow feed on her, takes her own bite of his neck, and then makes passionate love to him until the two climax in a giant burst of faerie light.
Spoiler alert #2: Eric and Pam don't kill each other
Instead, they use their stakes to dispatch of all the guards hidden in the viewing cell. Eric pokes a hole in the two-way glass, and plays peekaboo with Steve Newlin.
Governor Burrell is peeved that he didn't get to witness Eric and his progeny destroy each other, and chains Eric up in an even smaller cell. It's into this room that Nora is wheeled, tied to a stretcher. The governor isn't through trying to get under Eric's skin just yet. How did Burrell know that Nora was important to Eric?
"That vamp queen Newlin" is the gift that keeps on giving. Methinks Eric is going to remember Newlin's role in all of this, and I look forward to watching him get his revenge.
Governor Burrell wants Eric to know firsthand the pain of losing a loved one, seeing as it is Eric who turned his beloved Willa into an evil vampire. He injects Nora with a virus he calls Hepatitis V, and leaves the room to let Eric watch as the poison spreads through Nora's veins.
Speaking of Willa, she convinces her father to let her out of solitary confinement so that she can play Connect Four with Tara. When she starts having some weird bodily sensations, Tara explains that Eric is summoning her and that Willa must go to him (and also, kill whomever tries to stop her along the way).
Willa is a fast learner, and has no trouble doing just that. She reaches her maker and with her help, Eric and Nora escape their cell. The three make their way through Vamp Camp looking for Pam, Tara and Jessica -- Willa insists on saving the latter two. Instead of finding their friends, they stumble upon a bottling facility within the camp. Eric sees that bottles of TruBlood are being injected with Hep V, and is properly freaked out by the implications this could have.
Are you there, Lilith? It’s me, Bill
Bill (finally) realizes that Jess has been carted off to Vamp Camp. He's desperate to speak with Lilith, and arranges to have Professor Takahashi drain him of all his blood and bring him to near-death state. That's how he was able to see Lilith last time, so he figures it'll work again. It does work, but as it turns out, Lilith doesn't much care for Bill’s attitude and basically tells him that he's on his own from here on out.
When Takahashi rouses Bill from his coma, Bill sees on the TV that Governor Burrell is going to be facilitating the sale of discounted TruBlood, in a supposed attempt to help return life in Louisiana back to normal. This makes Bill especially angry, and he commands Takahashi to give him the faerie blood he had been testing. Bill drinks the vial of Warlow's blood in one quick gulp and daywalks on over to the governor's mansion.
Winning this week's badass award, Bill is shot with no less than 10 bullets upon arrival at the mansion but is unharmed; instead of dying, he uses his Billith mind powers to make the governor's soldiers shoot each other dead.