Actually, Eric thinks she deserves far more -- he is going turn her. To that end, he digs a big hole in the ground. As Eric unbuttons his shirt, Willa tells him she's a virgin, at which point Eric marvels out loud: "So much courage, so little experience." He promises Willa that being turned won't hurt, not the way he does it. "True Blood" may be getting stale, but Eric Northman is still the sexiest vampire on television.

Willa wakes up downright giddy, but her delight over her newfound immortality is dampened when Eric tells her that she must go back to her father's house and teach him that vampires are not to be hunted. She doesn't want to go, but Eric trots out that trusty "as your maker, I command you" card. Unfortunately, Willa's homecoming doesn't go as Eric had hoped.

Before Willa returns home, we meet Bon Temps' newest couple: Governor Burrell and Sarah Newlin. The former Mrs. Reverend Newlin is trying to distract Burrell from his troubles with a makeout session. They're interrupted by guards announcing that Willa is home ... and had to be invited in.

The governor is perplexed until a bloody Willa enters the room. She tells her father that if he loves her at all, he stop slaughtering vampires. He seems to be considering it, but then Willa smells the blood from a wound on her daddy's hand and just can't help herself. Sarah Newlin shoots Willa with one of those UV-light-guns, and tells Governor Burrell that Willa must be sent away to the vampire torture/experimentation camp. Eric is not going to be pleased.

Faeries just wanna have fun

Andy's faerie preteens are reading Terry's mind, much to his chagrin. Papa Andy comes in and tells the girls its bedtime. He tucks them into bed and turns out the lights. A few minutes later, though, the girls starting talking about how "it's happening again." The lights switch back on and we see that the girls are now in their late teens. After arguing over who has the prettiest new boobs, they decide to take their new bodies out to play. After all, they "might be 30" by morning!

Bill and Jessica are lurking outside as the girls sneak off in Andy's cop car. They're a little confused about the girls' age, but whatever -- faerie blood is faerie blood. Jessica insists that she be the one to kidnap the faeries, noting that while Bill would never think to harm Andy's brood, Billith might. She heads into the convenience store and convinces the girls that it would be "super fun" to come party at her house.

Once at the Compton manor, one of the faeries hits on Bill. He uses the opportunity to attach a device to her wrist that collects a sample of her blood. She's okay with this, because anything in the name of foreplay.

Sadly, Bill isn't interested in her new boobs. Instead, he strolls into the lab he's somehow rapidly assembled for Professor Takahashi and hands him the blood sample, ordering him to synthesize the faerie blood just as he once did with human blood.

Takahashi examines the blood, and tells Bill that he's never seen anything like it. Problem is, outside of its host the faerie blood loses all magical properties and turns back to plain old human blood. Bummer!

The faeries, finding Bill and his blood-taking wrist device creepy, decide it's time to leave the Compton manor. Jess scrambles to persuade them not to go, and in her haste to figure out what to do, grabs one.

Up close, the honey smell of faerie blood is too much for Jess to handle. She loses control and feeds on all of the faeries. Bill hears screaming, and finds Jess crying. She begs him to tell her that the faeries aren't dead.

The rest of it

In a brief but important scene near the start of the episode, FFG catches up with Nora and demands to know how Eric's sister knows about Warlow. Nora tells FFG what she figured out (in Episode 2) about Lilith and that error in the vampire bible.

The vampire bible doesn't read that the people led Lilith to the sun, but that the progeny led Lilith to the sun. Warlow is Lilith's progeny, and therefore it is Warlow who must kill Lilith. It's unclear how this will play out, but I'm guessing it means that Sookie can't just off Barlow in her living room.

At the werewolf HQ, the werewolves are picking over the remains of the Vampire Unity Society and notice that Nicole is unaccounted for. But before Alcide can get too concerned, Martha runs out and yells that Emma is gone. As in weeks past, I couldn't care less.

My disinterest in the wolf pack is matched only by my growing indifference to all things Sam Merlotte. He hooks up with Nicole this week, surprising no one. I did love little Emma's pink cowboy boots, but I'm not sure that justifies keeping any of these characters around.

Maybe it's fatigue from the long holiday weekend, but even all of the shirtless-ness (Jason! Eric! Sookie!) couldn't make this week's episode compelling. We were given plenty of new information, but zero new reasons to feel connected to these characters. As we near the halfway mark, I'm afraid that Season 6 is shaping up to be a bigger disappointment than that time the writers tried to make were-panthers happen.