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'The Walking Dead' Season 4 premiere recap, '30 Days Without an Accident'

Zombie (movie)Big Lots Incorporated

Nothing happened ...

You guys, I'm not talking about the Ravens' offense against the Packers, I'm talking about the Season 4 premiere of "The Walking Dead."

OK, so some stuff happened.

Beth's new backpack boyfriend died. I like backpacks. They're actually better than those drawstring bags you see everywhere nowadays. Those are cool but they always break on me when I need them the most.

A good place to get a utilitarian backpack is Five Below. They're not the highest quality, but just don't put like 30 pounds of stuff there and it'll hold up fine.

Back to the show.

There was also that lady who looked like a z-bo. She was all crazy like that woman Rousseau from "Lost."

She was awkward, and I was surprised that Rick gave her as much of a chance as he did. It was cool when he followed her back to her tent. I wish she had a Gameboy Color in there with Mario Golf and a MP3 player full of sick songs. BOTCH! She couldn't recharge it. Maybe a deck of cards and a few flasks...

But alas, she had none of that, she had a Therm-a-Rest and a knife. And then she tried to stab Rick before doing seppuku. She was not well, but she was acting in mysterious ways to prolong the existence of her husband zombie, who was covered in a tarpaulin.

You could be like, "Oh, that was too bad how she died." But no, that situation was a mess. I knew she was trubble when she walked in.

Moving on.

They were hanging out in Big Lots (screen name Big Sp!t) and a bunch of dead guys started falling through the drop ceiling. I hate those ceilings anyway. It always looks like someone spilled coffee on them and people are always throwing pencils into them.

If I was in that department store, I would definitely shop in the 'Wall of Values'. Well, unless it was zombie time. Then I would take whatever the heck I wanted ... including, but not limited to, fine wines.

So they did introduce that new guy, the army medic. His name is Bob Stookey and he is portrayed by Lawrence Gilliard Jr., who also was D'Angelo on "The Wire" and who is awesome.

Was I the only one who thought it was weird when Daryl and Beth were having hugs?

It wasn't that weird, they're just people.

Did you know? The lungfish, one of the least eveloved of all complex animals, has 40 times as much DNA as we have. (Credit: Bill Bryson.)

Hershel has a new prosthetic leg this season. #GoodForHershel

Michonne wants to go to Macon to kill the Governor. Michonne tells Rick that his face was losing the war. It was funny and we all laughed at him and his dumb face. Some people probably just chuckled, but we got it.

If I went to Macon, GA I would like to go to Grant's Lounge.

OTHER STUFF

The key word is "survival" on the new frontier.

Michonne brought Carl some limited edition comic books, but she wants to read them when Carl's done, because she actually gets it — comic books are cool — unlike all those other jerks who are into farming...

I think they killed about 15 zombies, mainly by stabbing their heads through the fence.

There was that boy Patrick with nerd glasses. He was like "I come down with something" and he went to take a shower and then died. I think it was supposed to be indicative of something that he just keeled over and turned into a zombie. Like now the disease is just felling people in the prime of their lives?

QUOTE BOARD

Rick: "You're going to be the one who loses."

Woman: "I don't have anything to lose."

BEST ZOMBIE KILL

When Daryl stomped on the head of the one. It was very violent.

CREEPIEST ZOMBIE

The one with the red, sunken eyes. He looked like he really needed some Visine...

DEATH COUNT

Zombies: About 15 by my count.

Humans: Two? Beth's backpack boyfriend and Patrick.

A look ahead to next week's episode, "Infected"

Rick is just being farmer Rick, and then some walkers cause a ruckus in the prison.

Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun
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Zombie (movie)Big Lots Incorporated
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