By Andrew Conrad, firstname.lastname@example.org
9:40 PM EDT, March 10, 2013
"Arrow on the Doorpost"? More like "Arrow on the SNOREpost"!
I understand that not every episode can be action-packed from start to finish with major plot twists, characters dying and hordes of zombies being slaughtered in exotic and graphic ways.
But at the end of this episode, when Rick forebodingly growls "We're going to war...", I was thinking: "Isn't that what you said like four months ago?"
Hey Rick, don't tell me, show me!
There are only three episodes left this season, so at least we know we're going to see the pace pick up soon, but this whole episode basically just served to develop character relationships and further hype the big brawl that we already knew was coming.
Don't worry, there was still some fun stuff to talk about in this episode.
How about that extended sex scene between Maggie and Glenn? Who directed this episode anyway, David Boyd or Adrian Lyne? At first I thought that they were going to shag right in front of the zombies, like it was some kind of sick exhibitionist turn-on for them.
Also at the prison, Glenn assumes the role of interim leader, and Merle locks horns with him, only to get choked out by Maggie. Beth breaks it up by shooting off a gun like a starters pistol. Smart move, Beth.
I also liked the part where the PrisonItes paired off with the Woodburians and became fast friends. Milton awkwardly stumbles his way through a conversation with Hershel, and Hershel does that little eye-squint, mustache-twitch thing that he does when he likes someone.
Hershel jokes that if Milton wants to see his amputated leg, he'll have to buy him a drink first. It would have been funny if the next scene was Hershel wearing a sun dress and Goldilocks wig, and Milton wooing him with a bunch of posies. Every time Milton would lean in for a smooch, Hershel would bash him over the head with an iron skillet, only to bat his eyes at him some more.
Daryl and Martinez get into a zombie-killing pissing contest and in doing so earn each others respect. Then Martinez says he likes smoking menthol cigarettes and Daryl calls him a douche bag.
This scene felt kind of tacked on, like the producers said: "we need to have SOME zombie killing in this episode. Just have Martinez and Daryl get after it."
The one person in the mix who doesn't really pair off with a friend is Andrea, who tries to help mediate the discussion, and is just shooed out of the room by the big bully boys.
It was kind of funny how one of Andrea's interjections was to plead with the men to "save the bullets for the real threat." Umm, Andrea, isn't it kind of obvious who "the real threat" is at this point?
Even the Governor and Rick drink whiskey together and commiserate over their dead wives. Well, the Governor commiserates, Rick just sits there and stews.
The Governor also shows Rick his oozing eye wound. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be his way of opening up to his nemesis, or trying to intimidate him. Either way, it looked cool.
Finally, the Governor makes Rick an offer: turn over Michonne so he can avenge his lost peeper, and all will be forgotten.
It was kind of a hollow climax to the episode, because you know Rick is too street-smart to actually believe the Governor would follow through on such a bargain, and he even says as much.
A low blow
When the Governor inferred that the child (Judith) Rick's wife died giving birth to was actually fathered by Rick's former best friend, Shane, he basically ensured that he and Rick could never be friends, and that Rick will probably take great pleasure in killing the Governor eventually.
Did you know?
(Thanks AMC Story Sync!)
Did you notice?
Merle: "Sorry son, but your dad's head could be on a pike real soon."
Governor: "He's a wildcard but he's effective, he gets the dirty jobs done."
Rick: "You're the town drunk who knocked over my fence or ripped up my yard, nothing more."
Governor: "I brought whisky."
Milton: "May I see it? Your stump? I'd like to see how high the amputation was above the bite…"
Hershel: "I'm not showing you my leg."
Governor: "They still think that I'm the man who can keep them safe. They still think I know what I'm doing."
Governor: "Now I don't have people that are combat tested like yours are, but I got more of them. And this fight will go down to the last man."
Governor: "I want Michonne. Turn her over and this all goes away. Is she worth it? Is one woman worth all those lives in your prison?"
Merle: "I must have been seduced by your sterling personality."
Merle: "You shogun the governor's ass, we'll be home before you know it."
Governor: "You can have everything you want. I told you I don't care about you."
Governor: "We're gonna have to eliminate Rick sooner or later. No way we can all live side-by-side."
Merle: "Should of gotten him when you had the chance, bro..."
Rick: "We're going to war."
Best zombie kill
When Martinez and Daryl are having their pissing contest, Daryl shoots this zombie in the eye with a dinky little arrow. Then Martinez is like "Oh yeah, how about THIS!" And he twirls his MacGregor baseball bat around in all these cute little spins and then he smashes the daylights out of the zombie's head on the side of some sheet metal building.
Creepiest zombieWhen they were walking up to the neutral meeting site there was this one laying in the tall grass and it's head looked like a lollipop that had melted in the sun. Daryl goes down to look at it and it's dumb head was all seeping around into some big puddle of gunk, it looked like someone spilled a big bowl of spinach soup in the lawn.
Zombies: Six, for 196 on the season.
Humans: None, but 29 on the season.
A look ahead to next week's episode, "Prey"
Everyone starts taking up arms and rattling their scabbards. The Governor talks to Andrea, the Governor talks to Milton, the Governor talks to Tyreese. Tyreese and his daughter what's-her-name shoot walkers from the wall on daddy-daughter day.
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