This was one of those "bridge" episodes.
Nothing really happened, but it set up a bunch of stuff.
Listen people: it's not my favorite thing either, but it's a thing.
So I don't need to give a spoiler alert here, because there isn't really anything to spoil. But I'll say that these things happened:
- Carl tells Rick that he shouldn't be the leader no more, and Rick is like ORLY?
- Merle tells Hershel that the Governor is chaotic evil and so aggro.
- Milton (I could have SWORN his name was Donovan...) tells the Gov' that he's all in, and the Gov' is like THX!!!
- Andrea goes to the prison escorted by some Stone Cold Steve Austin/Scott Ian zombie. Then she goes back to Woodbury and gives the Governor naked hugs and french kisses. Then she brandishes a thief dagger while he lays there post coitus with his dumb eye patch (I would not wear the eye patch when I was asleeping). But nothing happens...
- P.S. for that last one: wasn't that scene pretty much a summary for the whole episode? It seems like something is going to happen, but then nothing happens.
- Tyreese's group goes to Woodbury and offers to join their army because Rick went bonkers. You can't really blame Tyreese. He tried to help Rick's group but Rick said "Not right now bro, get out. Get out, bro..."
- Andrea and Michonne have a lovers quarrel.
- Beth sang some stupid song at the end. It sounded like "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips, but it was "Hold On" by gravelly-voiced Tom Waits...
I'm not Nostradamus (more like NostraDUMBASS) but I think this whole episode was to set up a fight between Woodbury and the prison. So what else is new? It's also continuing to undermine Rick's leadership,
I think that was pretty much everything major that happened, and now I can make a bunch of dumb observations and link to Carcass songs on YouTube...
Michonne's steampunk boots
Did you notice Michonne's steampunk boots? They had flaps that folded down the side. It was like she was doing cosplay at Otakon.
Michonne's insane ab workout
How sick was Michonne's core workout? She was shredding up her abs and getting ripped. There was SO much muscle confusion!
I Ain't a Judas?
What's with all these weird titles? This one made me think of Q Lazzarus. But apparently it had something to do with a Bible passage. It was when Caesar said "Et Tu Judas?" to Punch Us Pirate.
What is this, American History X?
Who does Andrea think she is? Ed Norton?
No I don't! I'm so sick of the "Little Asskicker" angle. I was hoping that it was a one-time, bad throwaway joke when Daryl first said it. But now they keep repeating it and it won't go away.
Did you notice?
- The Governor's eye patch seems to keep switching eyes. But apparently it's just because those shots were in a mirror.
- Retta from Parks and Recreation looks like Kenan Thompson in drag.
- Milton was wearing his awesome Under Armour zombie proof sleeves.
- This episode is number 311, just like the famous jazz fusion funk metal band.
Did you know?
- David Morrissey (The Governor) is married to Sigmund Freud's great granddaughter. HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!
- The baby's real name is Judith.
More Talking Dead observations
Matt Mogk of the Zombie Research Society - o_0 - stood on top of a building and suggested that maxipads, dental floss and condoms are essential gear for surviving the zombie apocalypse.
- Milton's town shirt was SO weird!
- It was funny when that lady with arthritis wanted to be on the Governor's special weapons and tactics team. #NFLCombine.
- It was pretty odd when Milton was pinning the armless, jawless zombie in the woods. For a second I thought I was watching Deliverance. "Now let's you just drop them pants."
- All the characters speak lovingly of Axel. RIP.
- When Beth started singing that song, why wasn't anyone like "Hey, what the hell is all this? Shut up!"
It's been awhile since there was a good one, but when Andrea hugs Carol there is a little bit of magic. She comes in for the full embrace, then gives the back of Carol's skull a little eagle talon cupping action. The greatest of hugs!
Best camera angles
When Andrea and Michonne were ranting at each other.
That dumb commercial break thing
Chandler Riggs' Ten Grossest Moments
1 - Getting peed on by the baby while we were filming and it dripped down onto my foot.
2 - The baby being delivered.
3 - Lori's death.
4 - Seeing Madison Lintz (Sofia) as a zombie.
5 - The gross house from the first episode of Season 3.
6 - The well walker.
7 - The zombie that Michonne cut open and the guts spilled out.
8 - The handcuffed zombie.
9 - The gas mask zombie.
10 - The walker who was eating the deer.
- One More Night, Phil Collins
- Sara, Starship
- All I Need Is A Miracle, Mike & The Mechanics
- Breaking Us In Two, Joe Jackson
- I Keep Forgettin', Michael McDonalds
- Deacon Blues, Steely Dan
- Lonely People, America
- Summer Breeze, Seals & Crofts
- If You Could Read My Mind, Gordon Lightfoot
What everyone is up to
Andrea: Rolling in a sick Crown Vic. And acting like she's completely out of the loop. What happened to Shane, what happened to Lori? Get a clue Andrea!
Governor: Seeming like an all around good guy again. Holding a match up to his eye wound. Assembling an army of teeny boppers.
Maggie: Using an awesome Golden Eye sniper rifle.
Hershel: Spitting SO much truth!
A bunch of characters did hardly anything except for flap their gums a little bit. Like Glenn.
Some lady: "Noah's only 14. And he has asthma. He can't run more than ten yards before losing his breath. What good is that to you?" #NFLCombine
Noah: "I had a BB gun once, my mom took it away..."
Andrea: "I don't get it, I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"
Andrea: "I'm sick of this. Sick of the lies!"
Rick: "We had that field, courtyard, until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."
Carol: "You need to sleep with him. Give him the greatest night of his life."
The Governor: "If you go to that prison, stay there."
Merle: "And not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew 5:29 and 30. Woodbury had a damn fine library, one of the only things I miss about it."
Best zombie kill
When Andrea hatcheted the face off of that one like she was giving it a face wash in ice hockey.
There was also that one that Tyreese hammered in the face. That one looked like a blogger or Pinterest user.
That one who's head was shaped funny.
Zombies: Three. That makes 181 on the season.
Humans: None. Still, 28 on the season is a lot.
- Where are Morgan and Duane?
- How do Milton's inventions work?
- Is Andrea gonna ice the Governor or the opposite?
A look ahead to next week's episode, "Clear"
The Hyundai fails. Rick and Carl invade Woodburys.
From the Talking Dead: Rick, Michonne and Carl roll up on some hideous undead creatures, and the Hyundai starts spinning its wheels.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun