That's pretty good Norman, but I think I can do you one better with...
My Zombie Apocalypse Playlist
Obituary, Cause of Death
Hank Williams Jr., A Country Boy Can Survive
Cannibal Corpse, Hammer Smashed Face
Death, Left to Die
Black Sabbath, Children of the Grave (The White Zombie version is pretty good too)
Slayer, Seasons in the Abyss
Johnny Cash, Hurt
Carcass, Keep on Rotting in the Free World
What songs would you add to the list?
This Thanksgiving we should all be thankful that The Walking Dead isn't real life. I know sometimes it seems like it would be fun to go around on the highways, scavenging for cool items in other people's cars, running through abandoned Walmarts and Discovery Zones…
But that would get old after awhile and you know it would actually suck looking over your shoulder every five minutes and worrying about humans and zombies killing you. Plus, I kind of like having 300 channels, a DVR and millions of sites to log onto. Cable bills stink, but it's nice to have the option. In the zombie apocalypse you couldn't even play games on your early 2000s Nokia cell phone, let alone do multiplayer Call of Duty 4. Not to mention how bad everyone would smell and how gross your grundle would start to feel after just a few days in that hot Georgia sun.
I will say that I think there are some things that the survivors could be doing to make life in the zombie apocalypse a little more livable. For one, pets. Earlier this season Rick was just throwing away dog food, so you know there is a supply, and a dog could actually help you by providing security and companionship. You just gotta find one. Just find a doggie daycare or something and voila.
Second, sports is a great escape for everyone. Why not start a little prison two-on-two basketball league? I know they have hoops because I've seen them, and there's got to be a rock (ball) laying around somewhere. They could keep stats and standings, and those who weren't able to play could spectate. I think the sickest team would be Oscar and Glenn but you could spread out the talent for competitive balance. I'm thinking Rick-Carl, Glenn-Maggie, Daryl-Carol, Oscar-Axel. Hershel (wheelchair) and Beth could form a team if they wanted, but they would probably get steamrolled by Oscar's dominance down low.
Or if setting all those picks and throwing all those elbows was a little too intense for them after everything they've already been through, maybe they could just have board game night, when they could play Chess, or Texas Hold'em or Jenga. Anything to break up the monotony.
I know it seems like the life of a big-time television show recapper is probably very glamorous, like I'm sitting in a catered theater in reclining seats watching the show on a big screen with all of the cast members hanging out in bedazzled designer sunglasses. But it's not like that.
Tonight I had to just walk away from the Ravens-Steelers game right in the middle of the first quarter to go watch The Walking Dead on a 20-inch TV from the 90s. And some other nights I might rather just watch Days of Thunder on Netflix or go get Rango from the RedBox and watch that instead. But hey, I'm here for you to figure out what it says on small signs in the background of the show.
The new girl in school
Hey who's that cute new girl who wears the trucker hat with her ears tucked into it and boasts of her archery skills but can't hit a zombie in the head from 20 yards away? Her name is Haley and she is played by Alexa Nikolas, a 21-year old actress from Chicago who was also on Nickelodeon's Zoey 101.
How the heck does this whole disease work anyway?
Now I'm no Dr. Quinn Medicine Man or Louis Pasteur, but when all that crap spilled out of that zombie's tummy onto Michonne, or when zombie blood splatters all over some dude's face, isn't that kind of dangerous? You know Michonne had at least a few cuts and scratches on her midsection from living a tough life on the road. And then when Michonne kills those two Woodbury dudes, they stab the one's decapitated head to keep it from turning into a zombie. So just a decaptitated head is gonna turn into a zombie? And even if it did, who cares? It would just sit there hissing and moaning for a few weeks until someone came along and booted it like a kickball.
I know Michonne is deadly and all that, but some of her moves seem almost supernatural. Like Merle and Neil walk into the middle of a clearing and look in all directions, and then in an instant Michonne just appears behind them slashing her sword. WTF, is she a ghost like Clint Eastwood in High Plains Drifter or something? And then when she gets disarmed by Merle's hand bayonet it's like she loses all her powers. She does this dumb Dean Malenko drop toe hold and then donkey kicks him in the stomach.
Merle: "Damn straight son. We're doing a righteous public service here."
Merle: "I want you to succeed, I do. But If you keep announcing to the world that you're pissing your pants I'm gonna smash your teeth in."
Rick: "Please, you don't understand, you don't know. We're dying here."
Merle: "Now you're gonna rise to the occasion, son. Some serious s**t's going down, I need you here. You read me amigo? I don't want you to die."