By Andrew Conrad, email@example.com
7:46 PM EST, November 6, 2011
Wow! I'm having trouble seeing my monitor through the fog on my glasses! Yes, steamy romance has come to "The Walking Dead" in the form of Boy Scout Glenn and Farmer's Daughter Maggie enjoying a little afternoon delight in the pharmacy, and it was hot-hot-hot!
This episode also featured what may have been the least hot scene ever on "The Walking Dead." I'm talking, obviously, about the bloated, clammy, slimy, deformed zombie down in the well. I dare anyone to watch the scene when the survivors' plan to pull him out of the well falls apart without making some kind of noise. Mine was like "awwwer, awwwgh, oh!"
There wasn't a whole lot in terms of plot development in this episode, and less carnage than last week when 20 zombies got what was coming to them.
The fruitless search for Sophia continues, and Lori took a pregnancy test that yielded a positive result.
She didn't look too thrilled with that news. I guess the big question is: Is she upset because she doesn't want to bring another life into this godforsaken world, or because it's Shane's baby? You could also be like, 'What did she have a knife for?' But I wouldn't read too much into that. I think she had it either to open the pregnancy test with or to slash some walkers to death if they tried to bother her while she was going No. 1.
There is also a little storm brewing between not-so-hospitable Hershel and mayor of survivor town Rick Grimes. Hershel seems to think the gang should mosey on down the trail when they find Sophia and Carl heals up, and Rick is like "Dude, WTF?"
It's kind of out of character, too, because Hershel is supposed to be an agent of God and helping his fellow man and all that, but then he's like a celeb at the end of an episode of "Cribs," like "All right guys, that's my crib, but now it's time for y'all to peace the hell out! Now get to steppin'!"
Hershel is also kind of being an idiot about this whole gun thing. He's making all the characters turn in their guns because it's his house and his rules. Umm, Hershel? Rick and Shane are policemen and they're trying to serve and protect you with those guns!
I think ol' Hersh needs to watch that episode of "The A-Team" where the guys come to the aid of a colony of pacifists, and the pacifists are like, "Hey Hannibal, protect us from these bad guys, but don't use any violence," and then by the end of the episode Hannibal is like, "Hey man, you can live your life how you want, but we have a right to kick ass!"
Come to think of it, Hershel is really starting to get on my nerves. Hey Hershel, you hypocrite, in the zombie apocalypse no one owns houses and pick-up trucks. Those things are to be shared by all, like the mountains and the sky. And when are they going to wrap up this whole Sophia thing? I'm ready for them either to find her as a little zombie girl and do the thing that must be done, have a joyous reunion, or just let that whole subplot die. But please, stop dragging it out!
Finally, Daryl shows his soft side, giving Carol a nice flower and telling her a story about the Trail of Tears. The type of flower? A Cherokee Rose. Full circle...
Best sexual inuendo
Whew! There were lots of good ones. First Rick calls Glenn the "Go-To-Town expert" (he'd like to go to town all right!) then Maggie says to Glenn, "I hear you're fast on your feet and know how to get in and out." ... It's too easy. She also told him that she'd go saddle his horse.
Shane, wearing the outfit of his murder victim, Otis. Limping all around and wearing the 3XL overalls with his recently shaved head, Shane looks like a drunken rodeo clown or a mental patient or a silly goose. And then he has to give that really uncomfortable eulogy. That wasn't awkward at all! "He died as he lived, in grace."
Most generous shop
Steve's Pharmacy, in town. They have a sign up outside that says "Take What You Need and God Bless." I wish 7-11 was like that, because I need about 100 corn dog rollers. I wish that Glenn and Maggie had stopped off at The Carriage Bar on the way back home to have a few cans of PBR and spin a few tunes on the junk box. Then they could have jetted into Shrugg's Hardware real quick to grab a few mallets and tape measures.
Most realistic pre-lovemaking conversation
Maggie: "I'll have sex with you." Glenn: "Really, why?"
Most blessed little heart
Carl, upon waking from his post surgery recovery snooze, asks how Sophia is doing. Bless his little heart!
Hershel. It looks like this!
Most ill-conceived plan
Lowering Glenn down into the well to hook the rope around the Well Swimmer zombie. I think they should have fed him a bunch of old cans like a billy goat, and then used a giant magnet to pull him right out.
Most disturbing mental image
T-Dog, describing why the Well Swimmer zombie isn't going for their canned ham bait: "Maybe cause a canned ham don't kick and scream when you try to eat it!" Gahhh!
Come on, who do you think? The Babe Ruth of hugs, Rick, upon reuiniting with Dale.
Creepiest zombie (of all time!)
The Well Swimmer. I liked how he was wearing trousers but no shirt. It makes you wonder what the heck he was up to when he got infected?
Best zombie kill
The Well Swimmer, halved by a hoss, then getting his stupid ugly face smashed in by an enraged T-Dog.
Zombies: One, our friend down in the well, for a total of 30 on the season.
Humans: Sophia is still missing, but so far Otis is our only human death this season.
What did Jenner whisper to Rick (maybe something about Lori's pregnancy)? What has become of Merle Dixon, Sophia and the father-son team of Morgan and Duane Jones? What does Shane's 22 necklace mean?
A look ahead to next week's episode
Walkers breach Hershel's property, Hershel seems upset about Glenn breaching Maggie's pants, Shane and Lori have a heated discussion and Merle returns! I'm in!
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