After weeks of cringe-worthy dates and melodramatic professions of love, "Bachelorette" Andi Dorfman is down to her final two.
Season 10 of the hit ABC show has found its protagonist, love-hungry assistant district attorney Andi, circumnavigate a sea of mostly white, 30-year old men with chiseled bodies to finally find herself in the scenic Dominican Republic with her final two, Josh and Nick. In last night’s episode, Andi painfully let go of Chris, the farmer, just as he saw the light at the end of the tunnel that is the “Fantasy Suite," the show’s PG-rated way of telling its audience that months of uncomfortable sexual tension will be put to rest.
Andi may have denied Chris the key to the suite, but she did open its sought-after doors to Josh, the former baseball player from Georgia, whom we have yet to see announce any hobbies other than America’s pastime, and Nick, the pink pants-wearing, charmingly-inarticulate one from Milwaukee. After each dropped the L-bomb and got the final two roses theatrically pinned to the lapels of their pastel suits, its time to review their respective pros and cons, in case Andi needs our help deciding (the season finale is Monday, July 28, by the way).
For starters, Josh is definitely the fan-favorite, if innumerable tweets with the hashtag #TeamJosh are any indication. Andi never seems happier than when she’s being held in his arms as he smiles so ridiculously wide that you wonder how this man is 29 years old. I guess this is both a pro and a con?
Andi adored his family of athletes and she’d fit right in with their brand of dark-haired, Southern charm. He also impressed Andi when playing baseball with kids in the Dominican, which could either prove that, yes, all he talks about is baseball, or that he’s bona fide daddy-material. Either way, the chemistry between the two is so strong you couldn’t break it with a Louisville Slugger. Whoops.
Andi does express some concern, though, that Josh lacks the maturity and emotional depth that she’s searching for. She’s a lawyer, after all, and he has seemed to shy away from seriousness with her. She also questions whether her relationship with Josh is too good to be true, and if it would be wise for her to pick the exact type of guy she’s dated before. Andi, who has filled this season with so many “stoopppsss” and “likes” so as to make me mute the TV, definitely harbors a little doubt when it comes to Josh, but luckily for him, there are far more checks in the “pro” column.
Andi constantly refers to her “mental connection” with Nick, but in the Dominican it seems they established just as much of a physical one. Andi not-so-clandestinely ogled at his body during their beach side make-out session. Nick also opened up about his past heartbreaks, featuring a failed engagement, something the bachelorette appreciated.
As they moved on to dinner, Nick finally formed a cohesive sentence featuring the words “I”, “love” and “you,” complete with a mini-novella he wrote of their love story thus far. Not only were there impressive illustrations, but it also had plenty of blank pages, something Andi saw quite convenient.
I did fail to mention, though, that equally detrimental to Nick during their one-on-one was his combination of bright-pink pants and a gray, blue and neon yellow t-shirt. It is up for debate which was more colorful, his book or his outfit, but the latter certainly did him no favors.
Andi’s concerns with Nick are also a 180 from those with Josh; she told host Chris Harrison that her relationship with him is so passionate that she wonders if there’s a fun, goofy side to him. It’s also worth noting that my timeline during last night’s episode featured several tweets that referred to Nick as a potential “serial killer” or “creepy murderer.” Josh definitely wins in the general consensus.
Ultimately, though, it’s up to Andi to determine who she’ll hand out the final rose to. Unfortunately for her two suitors, they’ll have to wait it out on the glacial, unsightly island of the Dominican Republic as they contemplate whether or not they did enough ab exercises to impress Ms. Dorfman.Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun