Are your bellies laden with Thanksgiving leftovers? Would you like to vicariously burn some calories by watching people race around the world? Great! Except tonight, it’s not so much racing around the world as it is racing cars and pigeons in Belgium, and it’s not so much about burning calories because it’s Waffle Time! Quick, someone write me a theme song for Waffle Time.
I bet you forgot that last week was a cliffhanger, right? I had a six-hour drive to my Thanksgiving dinner, so it slipped my mind, too. But this isn’t [all] about me. It’s about tangerine Speedos. And we already covered the theme song for those last week.
So, at the Pit Stop -- let’s face it, it’s more like a Pit Slow Down and Turn Around -- Phil hands out clues to the next location: the Ford proving grounds. Yeah, time for some product placement car racing.
With little fanfare, other than from the screaming woman in the audience, Andy and Tommy finish the bodybuilding challenge. Some undisclosed time later, Bill and Cathi finish, too. They arrive at the Pit Nonstop in last place, but Phil just hands them a clue and sends them on their way. He barely had time to fake them out.
Boys and cars
The test track is a Roadblock. One poor team member must race a Mustang and do some slaloms and doughnuts. From the looks on their faces, it’s torture, really. Apparently guys hate to drive fast cars. It’s a miserable Roadblock. Oh, did I mention it’s Opposite Day?
The best part of the Roadblock, for me, was Ernie’s copilot. Usually Ernie brings the comic relief, but his copilot was so deadpan: “Again. Again. Balloon. Watch out for the box.”
Waffle time !!!!!!!!
Do you like waffles? I sure do. Belgian waffles, especially. This Detour is here to visually feed your waffle addiction. The teams must assemble a waffle stand, then bake, decorate and display 18 different waffles. It’s a detail thing, but boy. Even Phil Tweeted: “YES, I had a few waffles.” Yes, I would have had a few myself. Are you digging the Waffle Time theme song, by the way? It should be streaming right about now….
Quote of the week
Ernie and Cindy had a tough time assembling the waffle stand because she couldn’t reach the tall ceiling panel. They were barely ahead of Jeremy and Sandy, who assembled their waffle stand in no time. Cindy asked why they were so much faster, and Ernie said, “I don’t know. ‘Cause they’re tall? And we’re not?”
Although Jeremy and Sandy had swift waffle-stand-assembly skills, their actual waffle baking skills were lacking. Their moaning and complaining persuaded Amani/Marcus and Bill/Cathi to choose the other side of the Detour, a task where they built a log-and-barrel raft and floated down a canal.
Quote of the week #2
The Snowboarders and Amani/Marcus begin building their rafts at the same time, but the Snowboarders finished first, of course. As they lower their raft into the canal, Marcus shouts out, “Don’t fall in! That’ll break my heart!”
After the Detour, the teams are sent to a place with a really long name to release some homing pigeons, because International Pigeon Racing is big in Belgium. Trust me. They release the pigeons, then they have to find the address where the pigeons have landed (The pigeons have landed! The pigeons have landed!).
At some point in the pigeon part, Cindy wonders whether they left waffles burning back at the waffle stand. Now I love her, because I, too, would worry and wonder about burning waffles.
Atomium is here to save the day!
Ernie and Cindy get a little lost while finding their pigeons, so the Snowboarders take first place again. The Pit Stop is a giant model of the atomic structure of iron. You know what the elemental symbol is for iron? Fe. That’s right, I didn’t even have to look it up. Iron and I are tight like that.
Anyway, Atomium is a beautiful statue, and the Snowboarders each win a Mustang. Jeremy and Sandy are second, and Ernie and Cindy are third. Amani and Marcus arrive in fourth place, after Marcus gave himself pep talks, clapping cheers and football clichés in the car to psych himself up.
Bill and Cathi were never able to make up their time during this leg. But they are a popular team so they get lots of flashbacks before their Philimination. See you at the finale, Bill and Cathi!Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun