Twins Elliott (left) and Andrew from 'The Amazing Race.'

Twins Elliott (left) and Andrew from 'The Amazing Race.' (Robert Voets/CBS / February 27, 2012)

"The Amazing Race" stays in Argentina this week. If you’re helping your kid with his geography homework, then let me give you some facts: Argentina is big enough for an 18-hour bus ride within its borders, big enough for the world’s highest vineyards and big enough to hold a lot of cows. This show is better than an encyclopedia. Do kids still use encyclopedias these days?
 
Hey Border Patrol Agents, quit your whining

Art and JJ don’t believe in solar energy. The Detour was a choice between assembling a solar oven and using it to boil a pot of water, or wrangling a donkey to carry sticks and clay for a mile. The Agents were the only team to choose the donkey, basing their decision on the assumption that it was too early in the morning for the sun to boil water. Based upon the fact that every other team got water to boil, they were wrong.
 
While walking the donkey through the desert scrub brush, these guys would not stop whining about how long it was taking. I caught a “We’re too smart for this!” I can’t wait for a challenge that they feel measures up to their standards.
 
They also seized any random opportunity to slam Brendon and Rachel, the Big Brother team. The Agents pointed out that Brendon will never make a navigation decision, instead he’ll wait to follow someone. They claim that Team BB ripped a clue out of their hands (Clue Handoutgate!). They refused to team up at a Roadblock because Team BB are “tagalongs,” but instead they teamed up with Army Dave. I think the Agents just really hate sequins.
 
Let’s “help” each other

So, last week I referred to Joey “Fitness” and Danny as the Jersey Boys because I didn’t want to call them "Guidos" and I didn’t want to ever address Joey as "Fitness." But they mentioned repeatedly this week that they are from New York. Oops, sorry. I was going to go off on a whole tangent about when I was 16 and met a boy at a hotel swimming pool named Josh and he was ever after known as Josh From New Jersey. Nevermind.
 
The Not Jersey Boys had trouble assembling their solar oven, so they approached the attractive Mississippi cousins with an offer of working together. The cousins didn’t need any help, but they showed those poor Northern boys what to do. I hope they pre-emptively placated the vengeful Race God of Bad Luck and Random Spite.
 
The Weekly Team Bopper Adoration Paragraph

Mark, the non-Bopper of the team, is awesome. He saw the solar oven challenge, opened the box and put it together, giving credit to his son who likes Legos and knows that every piece has a place. Bopper: “Your skills surprise me!” Mark: “Man, I can’t believe you’re talkin’ ‘bout my skills!”