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Tv Lust

'Survivor: South Pacific' recap: You Reap What You Sow

Episode 3 is called "You Reap What You Sow." Oh, if only that were true.

We start at Redemption Island.  Hurry up with the complaining, and get to the smackdown.

But no; first, we catch up with Upolu after tribal council. Mikayla is mystified as to why Brandon wanted her voted out; it won’t make sense, honey -- he’s crazy.  But he also realizes that lying came back to bite him in the butt fairly quickly.  What the majority of Survivor contestants don’t realize is that lying is a skill. Everyone thinks that they’re a good liar, but very few people actually are. Let’s see if he learns from this lesson. I’m guessing he won’t.

And now it’s Redemption Island smackdown time!  But first, more poetry from Semhar.  And, ha, everyone looks visibly annoyed and/or bored, including Jeff.  She claims that it "calms her" but it’s more likely that she realizes her time is almost up, and is trying to get in as much self-promotion as possible. Their "due"’ involves balancing a tiki on what looks like varying lengths of PVC pipe.  Can one of them be an evil tiki like when the Brady Bunch went to Hawaii?  Because that’s the only way this would be interesting.  Christine wins, and Semhar complains some more about how mean people are, and how she doesn’t give up on anything (except throwing coconuts).

Brandon doesn’t want to lie anymore.  So he comes clean about the Russell connection by taking off his shirt. Sophie looks like she wouldn’t have minded if he told them the big news without having to take his shirt off.  Mikayla doesn’t trust him, because she’s had the crazy directed toward her, but everyone else seems to wonder why it’s such a big deal that he felt he needed to hide it.

Over at Savaii, oh, goodness, they’re actually calling Mark "Papa Bear’"in the confessional subtitles.  He seems to realize that he, Dawn, and Cochran (whom he calls John) are not in the popular group and missed out on making a strong alliance.

Ozzy decides to tell Keith about the immunity idol, because he trusts him.  And Keith immediately goes and tells Whitney.

At Upolu, Mikayla asks Brandon why he doesn’t like her, which he takes as an attack, and then Brandon doesn’t understand why she doesn’t understand that he’s apologizing when he tells her that he doesn’t like her. Then Brandon calls together the whole tribe to show the crazy to everyone, in case someone missed it before.  

Wow, Brandon is not mentally equipped for this game.  All kidding aside, I don’t think he can handle the strain. And his alliance is starting to think that, as well.

Challenge time!  Again, it’s reward and immunity combined. Once again, it’s a whole bunch of running and screaming, ending with a puzzle -- this time with rope. I want to know whose job it is to come up with these things, and what they went to school for. Savaii does well until Dawn screws up, and then Ozzy does too. This must be way more taxing than it looks, because everyone doing the first part looks completely wiped. In the end, Upolu gets its puzzle finished before Savaii even has a chance to get one of its pieces out.

So Savaii is going to tribal council, and Jim states that Papa Bear is the weakest member and should have been voted out first. Does he not remember the impromptu spoken-word performance from Semhar from just a little while ago?  Because I think that would have gotten old around camp real fast.

Predictably, the choice seems to be down to Cochran or Papa Bear.  It seems like they just need to decide which one is more useless.  It’s almost a foregone conclusion, and both realize that whichever one doesn’t go this time will be going next time.  And since they don’t have the numbers, there’s not a heck of a lot they can do about it.

Papa Bear draws attention to himself by running, which apparently he doesn’t ever do (which is probably why he’s slated to go home).  He’s trying to fake them out by making them think he’s got the immunity idol, not knowing Ozzy already has it.

At Tribal Council, Papa Bear correctly outs the alliance of the five young, strong players, and Jim tries to dissuade him like a man who’s been caught in bed with someone by his girlfriend. The man used to be a NYPD detective, Jim; I think he saw through your brilliant machinations. In the end, the astute observations are all for naught without an alliance, and Papa Bear is voted out.

People I liked: Rick; he’s still got the hat, and I still haven’t heard him speak. Sophie; also fairly quiet, but seems to be watching and assessing.

Everyone else falls somewhere between "meh" and serious annoyance. I can’t even actively dislike Brandon anymore because I’m genuinely worried about his mental health.

Credits: Papa Bear voted for Jim, Jim voted for Cochran, and everybody else voted for Papa Bear. He gets to Redemption Island and is as level-headed about being voted out as he is about everything else.

Next week: Brandon shows the crazy some more (I think I’m just going to copy and past thate every week until he gets voted out.)  Cochran tries to wheel and deal his way out of his vulnerable position. Given his prowess (or lack thereof) at, oh, everything so far, I don’t think it’s going to work as well as the promos would have us believe.


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