By Katie Hutchinson
6:37 AM EDT, July 13, 2012
Ever since Snooki revealed her secrets to JWOWW, I have been waiting for her to tell the whole Jersey Shore crew -- well, almost everyone.
In this episode, the Jersey crew is invited to Snooki and JWOWW's new animal-print pad [everyone except Mike]. As Snooki explained to Jenni, they are not friends and she could not be paid to invite him to her home.
This magical half an hour started with the girls running errands for furniture, drapes, paint, and animal print duct tape. You heard me. Now, I have seen this stuff online but had no idea that it was a full-on decorative tool to cover every inch of your living space and appliances.
The two amigos go through a series of handy men they contract to help drape pink fabric all over the apartment. The first one, who JWOWW assumed was a sexy black man from his over-the-phone voice, turned out to be somewhat of a "gorilla" but with a rather foul mouth.
In an attempt to make an awkward situation even more awkward, as she likes to do, JWOWW asks the handy man for steamy sex stories, and boy does she get one. It was so raunchy and hot and disgusting that 90 percent of it was bleeped out so the only details I got was that it involved a girl and his best friend man friend and that was quite enough for me.
The second handy man was called when the drapes all fell down the next day while the girls were out running more errands in preparation for the night's dinner party. The girls went out and picked up a cake in order to tell the former roommates "I'm pregnant -- dig in!"
In between errands, Snooki and JWOWW have an artist come to photograph them for what will later be a painting for their apartment fit for a mafia family.
That night the roommates show up, and all have something to say about their animal-print covered apartment, and the fact that they are both cleaning and cooking (edible) food.
Once dinner is well underway, Snooki finally announces that she is engaged, and whips out the ring. Congratulations come immediately, but then the jokes start coming and really irritate Snooki and hurt her feelings.
If you thought their reaction to her being engaged was harsh, just wait until next week when she tells them she is pregnant. I can't wait.
Things I learned on Snooki and JWOWW this week:
When referring to a one-night-stand in the past tense, you call that person someone you "one-night stood."
Mood rings are awesome, unless that s--- is black, and then it's no good [like being around Sam and Ron when they're not together].
Just as the theme song says, over and over ... and over again, "I don't care, I love it!"
Until next week -- agree with me, or agree to disagree with me? Let me know @KT_HUTCH
Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun